Stay

Things could have changed drastically.
So very drastically.

While I was surfing the net upstairs.
Doing all my trivial tasks..
You could have lost your life downstairs.
How easily you could have left me- without me having even an inkling about what's about to happen.

When I heard the news, I was shocked.
Adrenaline pumped as we dashed to do what seemed to be so obvious at the time- to get back what was stolen.
I knew you were safe.
And for that I thank god.
But the retaliation of how easily you could have been snatched away from my life only hit afterwards.
And it hit HARD.

What if you had fought back?
What if that single swing of the bastard's parang hit you?
What if..

My heart twisted.
The pain became physical.
My vision became blurry.

I now know that I NEVER want to feel that way again.
YOU should always remember that.







The age old question of "would you kill to protect?" was answered for me. 
I would have happily killed the bastards who tried to hurt the people I love- And I'll do it sloooooooowly. 
Revenge is a dish best served cold after all. 

Irritated beyond comparison

I am currently registering for my NR status.
NR: Non-resident.
I am a non resident of UiTM.
I wish I don't have to set foot in UiTM ever again!
But alas.. what choice do I have?

It seems that the great Montesquieu got it right.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Or in this case. sudden elevation into minimal power.

Apparently there's a crackdown on us "student drivers".
So boys and girls, stay very vigilant.
You wouldn't want to slapped with summons worth hundreds now would you?
Personally, I'd rather spend the money on myself rather then give it to the university.

So there it is.
I have just clicked 'send' to my NR application.
And now I have to wait for my dear father to wake up so that I can get the 'geran kereta' from him.

This blows.




PS:
And I think I might have just violated some kind of provision in AUKU.
Bust I just don't fucking care. 

I'm a Snorlax!

I dub myself the queen of procrastinators!

I have finished reading "Duchess by Night"
(Which was actually quite good. Albeit it being a lil too soppy at parts. But it's definitely a keeper.)

I have updated Avant La Mode.
Though I know I don't have to since I've just updated it yesterday. (=_=)"

I have planned all the things I wanna do once I finish writing the second chapter of my project paper.
Which includes watching "Crazy stupid Love"
*\(^_^)/*  <-- Me cheering with pom poms.

But I haven't even STARTED to type!
I have spent the whole day 'preparing' to write my stupid project paper.
*Flying kick muka sendiri*
I feel like a bum.

Maybe the picture of Snorlax makes more sense if I also disclose that I've GAINED 1 KG.
Despite my attempts to shed the pounds.
Ugh.






PS: This picture reminds me of Totoro! <3
Maybe I'll watch it after I'm done with my Project Paper.
*Acts like the 3 tests next week doesn't exist* 
*Sigh*

Broken promises

I've finally succumbed to the thrill of finding amazing deals at bazaars!
I have no idea why not a lot of people came to The Threadzoo @Red Carpet Avenue The Strand..
To be quite honest, it's one of the more interesting bazaars I've been to all year.
I think I've been to at least one event per week these past few months and I'm proud to say that I've kept my promise of not spending my hard earned $$$ on all the quirky (I love quirky) stuff I find there.

But The Threadzoo ruined my (almost) 1 year run by having vendors who sells BOOKS.
(=_=)"
I can't help it!
They had a title from Julia Quinn (!!!). *Swoons*
One I did NOT own! (O.O)
And once the ball started rolling, I couldn't stop myself to save my life.
Meh!

My guilty pleasures~

So $$$ spent there..
But then again, money well spent!
"Duchess by Night" (the one on the far left) is actually quite good!
BUT.
I have a test on International Trade Finance tomorrow..
And I still have the urge to read the darn book!
Arrrgh!!!

Oh, I also met lots of awesome people!
*Grins*

New amigos!
Mehehehe!

Sometimes

There were times these past weeks that I really wanted to blog- Because I was feeling down.
Funny how I REALLY start to write again when something goes wrong.

So I've stopped myself from blogging when I'm down.
Just so I don't muck up the aura of this site :P

And though I'm planning to start writing again.
In the back of my mind I cant help but think that this sudden burst of enthusiasm will fade soon.
Meh.

Tomorrow is yet another event for ALM.
This time, it's in Damansara.
And I have a paper due on Monday.
And my International Trade Finance test on Wednesday.
Yippie.

I better get my lazy ass in gear before I get into some REAL trouble.

Lonely traveller

I just spent the whole day roaming the streets of Bath- Alone.

And I guess that’s not such a bad thing..
Because when you’re alone, you’re forced to be more aware of your surroundings.
And what you realise may just be worth the loneliness.

I saw old couples sit under the shades of trees.
Talking, holding hands, and sometimes they let slip a peck or two..
Nothing over the top or repulsive.
Just simple gestures of love.
And I’m thinking, why don’t we see this more often in our culture?
(No, the Pevi/KLCC kids doing the nasty DOES NOT count)

I overhear an old man say to his wife;
“Look there honey, homemade chocolates! You love chocolates.”
*Tugs the wife along*
The wife says;
“Oh, it’s a little pricey isn’t it?”
He replied;
“Nothing’s too pricey for you. Anyways, we’re on holiday!”

I almost let an “Awwwwh~” slip.
I wish I’ll have somebody who adores me as much as that when I’m well over 60, fat and wrinkly.
I miss the boyfriend even more after seeing the love fest.
Meh.




PS: Staying on my low carb diet is harder than I thought here in the UK.
Nothing is readily halal except for vegan bread (Which I cannot eat), fruits and Vegetables (Which are expensive).
This is what I'll be eating most of the time:

It looked and tastes lovely but after a while, you'll yearn for something more filling.. T.T
Oh.. NOooo...
*guling2 kelaparan*

Wheeee!!!

Internet connection!
FINALLY.

And yet I'm too lazy to ramble on about how my trip was.
Ergo this extremely short clip..

Please ignore the grumpiness..
14 hours in a cramped cold airplane took more out of me then I expected.

For some odd reason I'm having constatnt headaches..

*Sobsob*

It might be the weird weather getting to me :(

Busy Bee

I've been a VERY busy bee!
Tee-hee~
ALM's pre-orders are more complicated then I thought..
But things are falling into place.
I guess I just need time to learn the ropes :s

Note to self: Plan ahead.
Check for holidays & when I will not be around to handle all pre-order details.
DO NOT place closing dates & estimated times of arrival on those dates!
Seems pretty basic and obvious right?
But I swear that it didn't even occur to me to think about that.
(=__=)"
Fail.

Am also somewhat nervous about going to Europe.
I'll be missing the first week of the semester & that's when I'm supposed to submit the first chapter of my project paper..
And I haven't even started editing for it!
Oh no..
I hope my darling teammates won't be too pissed at me for not being around.
Heh.



Oh, and the part that sucks most- my luggage limit is only 20 kg! Dammit!
But I wanna SHOP! 
Plan: Bring two suitcases, one check in luggage & one hand luggage. AND make sure my huge ass luggage is EMPTY! And if I can manage it, I'll pack REALLY light so that there's some space in my hand luggage!
Yeah! 
I can do it!
*Over!!!*


 

Delays. Delays! DELAYS!

Stress!
I hate it when there's delays.
Especially delays that I can't do anything about!

Yes, I am talking about ALM's second pre-order batch..
ALM's international warehouse is being refurbished.
WHY the hell would you want to do it NOW?!
When you know it'll be a super duper busy season due to the double festivities?!
Sheesh!
What crappy business sense! 
Delay one.


Mr Kastam says;
"Puasa.
Ergo, offices closes early.
Oh, and since we're fasting, we can't possibly go through all the shipments as fast as we usually do.
And did we mention that there's an increase of imported items because of the double festivities?
You will just have to wait your turn then..
Oh yeah, before I forget to mention it, it might take a week.
NO, you can't pick it up without us checking the items first."

Me;
"#*@%^*!!!!"

Delay two.


This means that I'll have to wait till Friday to know if I can pick up all of ALM's goodies.
*Sigh*
So near yet so far..
Thank god all my ALM babes & Dudes are cool with this..
I'd have a total breakdown if they start getting mad at me (=_=)"




PS: This is my exact expression at the moment..

Am super pissed.
But I cannot do a thing about it!
*Brewing*

Climbing the ladder

This is NOT a confrontation.
This is NOT hate mail.
This is merely an open letter. 
This is just something I've come to realize..

My new friend Syafika (fellow blogshop owner) was talking about how SOME (not all) established blogshop owners tend to refuse to reveal their "trade secrets" (Suppliers, mark ups & such).
I personally respect the right to withhold information to potential "rivals" but why get snarky?
I just don't understand..
Why would you NOT want to share?
Everybody has to start SOMEWHERE.
And though the defense of "I started at the bottom and had to claw my way up ALL BY MYSELF" may sound justifiable to your ears, it sounds petty to mine.
I, like you, had to grovel and plead to people to clink on my site.
I had be gracious to people who decided on what's hot & what's not.
To go out of my way to be in their good books.
And in the end, take the insult when they simply give you the snub- just when you think you're finally in.

It is hard.
And sometimes downright brutal..
When you're trying SO fucking hard but nothing seems to work out.
I am lucky.
I am fully aware of that..
To have a friend who has been in the online business for so long to take me under her wing.
To have friends who would brave the blistering hot weather just to help me handle booths and promote my brand.
And to have a boyfriend who would never let me quit- even when I feel like it's just too much.
THAT was what pulled me through.

If you have felt this..
This sting of being rejected.
Of being denied opportunities.
Of being kicked when you are down.
Why subject others to the same?

I have met people who I think will go places because of their openness to help each other..
And I personally think they are awesome.
(Maybe as awesome as I am! Tee-hee)
And we may be just starting out now, but all willows starts with a seed.

I had a blast at MMU today.
We may have difficulties now, but we'll find a way to be the Alphas.
I am sure of it!












PS: I guess this bitter truth also applies to organizers.
I'm simply not "cool" enough. 
YET.

All Good Things

This shall be the most happy/optimistic post I've had in a VERY long time.
The thing is, I have almost nothing to complain about.
(Nothing that matters anyways)

I have a great family.
A group (although it's a small group) of loyal friends.
And a boyfriend who never fails to remind me everyday that he loves me.

I guess there's a reason why people say your teen years are the "hardest"..
That's the time when you have to figure out who you are.
Or (arguably more importantly) who you surround yourself with.

I have to admit that I found myself BECAUSE of the people around me.
And for that, I shall be forever grateful to those whom have been pillars in my life.

I can finally feel my feet firmly on the ground.
And I realize that I am such a blessed soul.
For all of the dysfunctional relationships I've been in, now I realize that I was wrongly led to believe that I was the source of all conflicts.
I am really not as complicated and as soulless and people perceive me to be.

So you can call me an Ice Queen.
But this Ice Queen is happier then you will ever be.





PS: Am slowing down on my low carb-diet.
Still haven't eaten any rice but I've started having some bread (Steamed pau to be exact.. Tee-hee!)
It's puasa anyways.. 
I need my energy! Meh!
(ALASAN!)

The TAMA Obsession Continues..

It's 4.15 am.
I have to be in The Palace of Justice by 8 am.
That will gimmie about... 4 hours of sleep?
Oh. Wait.
Sahur.
So that means 3 hours?
Oh, screw it.
If I sleep I'll NEVER be able to wake up.
Might as well stay up the whole night.
I just hope I don't end up snoring in the court room.
Now THAT will be an epic disaster.

Am passing the time by uploading some vids..
Just for fun, this is a vid of the rebirth of my Tamas.
(I had this vid for a while already..)
And you can tell that this was a spontaneous project by the number of bloopers (and also the complete lack of editing). Heh.

PS: I cheated on my low-carb diet.
I'm starting to eat small portions of rice & I even scarfed down a couple spoon full of ice cream.
*Flying kick muka sendiri*
And I'll be going to an office buka puasa shindig tonight!
That means MORE carbs. 
Uggh.. I HATE my lack of self control.

1+1=2

I've released my new TAMA from it's plastic prison!
*Cheers!*
Now I have TWO.
At least now my Tamas have each other to play with :P
Oh, and here's the unveiling vid:

I had so much fun making this vid, so I've decided to make another one!
Mehehe..
The next one shall be the birth of this black Tama & the rebirth of my blue Tama.
(Am still sad that I killed my tama.. No one to blame but myself though..)

And I'm planning to expand ALM's borders to VINTAGE GAMES!
Hahahaha..
We'll see if it takes off :)
The primer of ALM GAMERS will (hopefully) be epic.






PS: I am still on my low-carb diet.
Lord help me!

What would one sacrifice for vanity?!

In my case, it's carbohydrates.
Though I love them so~

It's day 5 of my low carb-diet.
Yes, day 5.
I dared not announce it before I started.
Buat malu je if I don't even last 3 days!

I started because a guy who fancied me said "Oh, you got chubbier! You were thinner last year."
I must have given him a death stare because he instantly covered up by saying "But it suits yoooouuu.." (I spelled it that way because it was exactly how he said it.)
And you think THAT's gonna score u any points?!
No wonder you're still single.
(Still in a quite bitter mood.)
Men, a word of advice, do NOT tell a girl that she's gained weight, or worse, FAT.
It will only get you into trouble.
Even if it's true, lie.


But I guess the straw that broke my back was when my mom uttered "My god! You've gained!".
Twas the FIRST thing she said to me when I got home.
Ouch.
Hence my attempt to shed the pounds :(

I must admit, this low carb-diet is hard to stick to.
Especially since I can't eat all the things I love..
So now I just look at them..

Looking....

Still looking..

Absorb every last bit of carb with my eyes..

...And I'm done!
Now I'm full!
Meh.

But The worse part is that I can't have my all time fav food..

Drools..

Ohhh... Lush Jamoca Almond Fudge..
Why oh WHY are you so bad for me..
And yet.. I ache for you..

Thank god there's 'Cheats'.
If I'm not allowed a day a month to eat indulgent things, I think I'll go nuts..

But hey, this is a much better way to lose weight then to starve myself.
(I would NEVER do that!)
All I need to do is to cut down my sugar intake.
Hmm... Actually exercising may be a good idea too.
I'll try harder.. *Sighs..*






Tomorrow's goal: exercise! (codename for wash my car!)
Haha..

What's a TAMA?

Introducing... My 4th baby!
For those of you who've been asking me on FB what the heck is a TAMA, well here it is! 
Mine is the 4.5 version.
And in all honestly, I think it's the best version out there :)

 

I guess a picture doesn't fully explain what it is..

So here's a lil home made vid!

*Mehehe~*

 

I know.. I am SUCH a child!

Teehee~

(And yes, I have THAT much free time now..)

PS, Sorry for the bad grammar in the vid.

Making a video is actually really hard..

It just feels weird recording myself :P