I wish

The person who thought of the phrase "What you don't know can't hurt you" must have been wise.
Because it's so true.
Sometimes, you're not meant to hear some things for a reason..

I wish I hadn't asked my parents about how Amanah Saham worked.
I wish I had just Googled it and tried to understand it on my own.
I wish they didn't jump to the conclusion that I planned to keep my first 'real' paycheck tucked away in a trust fund.
I wish they didn't think that I was so selfish.

But most of all, I wish I hadn't over heard them say that..

I have always planned to give my parents my first pay check.
It has been something I've always wanted to do.
But money wasn't the point- I knew that they didn't need it.
Twas supposed to be a gesture.
To show that I'll provide for them & that I'll always share with the family..

Over hearing what they thought of me hurt more then I ever expected it to.
It's a different kind of hurt when you find out that those you most cherish doesn't seem to see much good in you.
It has never hurt like this before.
Ever.

I guess this is the price you pay for being so busy.





PS: My pay hasn't come through yet.
I'm guessing it will by the end of the month.
I'm still going to give it to my parents. 
But I know the moment will not be as sweet as I've always imagined it'll be..