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Help me.
Because I cant seem to understand how some women manage to do this..

How exactly do you balance your career/ambitions and your personal life?
When you suddenly realize that you cant have both, how do you decide which is more important?
When do you finally KNOW which one is the right choice?
Because I pray to god that I wont wake up one day and find myself wondering how did I get things so wrong..

I know I may bitch about working so hard and STILL not getting to where I want to be, but I really do want to be great. I wanna be the best there is- and I know that getting there is going to be a major pain and I'll have to sacrifice some very important things to get there..

But am I doing the right thing in sacrificing him?
Though I can easily point the finger to him and say that he's SUPPOSED to be supportive and understand what I'm going through, I can't really do that..
Because I know that he has tried to be there for me and had made all the sacrifices just so that he could be my pillar when I'm down.
And to have him come into the picture only when I need him (or have the time for him) is unfair- to say the least.

Lets get real here..
Where else can I find somebody who'll so willingly put things on hold and put me before himself?
Sometimes I have to wonder.. Had I ever done the same for him?
Though I love and adore him, I cant help but think that (sometimes) I'm such a bitch for doing this to him.

I must train to get better, but that takes (literally) the WHOLE day.
And he want to spend time with me- time that I do NOT have.
I wish I could just split myself into two. (=.=)"







He says he wants to make it work.
And I'm going to fight to my last breath to keep both my ambitions and him within my grasp.
Heh.
Again, I need fucking sleep!