Kenapa Diri Ini Bodoh

He dropped by today.

I wanted to perasan and think that he came by just to see me. *Dreamy sigh*
Damn it, I am one stupid, naive chit. Gotta stop doing that!



There's no way he'll travel that far just for a few hours with me. Bodoh betul diri ini.
Dream on girl! Time to wake up and get your ass back to the real world.

*Exasperated sigh*

I have to STOP reading Nicholas Sparks and Julia Quinn. They're turning my brain into a goddamn romantic mush! H.A.T.E. it!



WHY can't I just keep it platonic? It'll be best for everybody.

Especially me. I wouldn't have to feel guilty when I do stupid things (which happens numerous times a day). Or more importantly when I get sick or upset due to the fucking side effects from the meds I'm taking.



Poor guy. Yeah, I'll be doing him a major favour by not pursuing any 'feelings' I may or may not have.

I guess I won't be seeing him for the next month.
It's not like I really need him right? *stare off into space*
Right!
I can take care of myself. (Yeah!)
I just wish I had mustered up the courage to ask for that hug he keeps saying he owes me.
At least it'll fortify me until he returns..
*groan* I am such a STUPID weakling!

The Bad & The Evil Reunited

We had our high school reunion.

For SMKAM of course, not MOZAC.

It was like a fucking circus! Surprisingly, I had more fun than I had anticipated. Everybody lupa diri and started doing idiotic stunts and poses.. (I joined of course as I am innately outrageous anyway!)

I haven't seen them for about 3 goddamn years! I was glad I went.
Now I remember why I love them so much, They are all fucking crazy! Ahh~ My own species..


We didn't do much. Had lunch at Subway. Had cake from secret recipe (at subway) and played bowling. But somehow they all made it interesting. (for even the people around us) *LOL*

Aie! I miss you so! (especially your relentless bitching!)

My old 'mafia' group, we ruled eveything and everybody in our lives (I guess we still do.)

Ahh~ I love high scool (with them)!

Meeting them was all fine and dandy but it sure as hell didn't improve my bowling skills!

I reaffirm my stand that I suck in games involving the use of balls. (wtf??)


haiz... I mean it innocently. No pun intended.
Here, I'll show you:

Ok, I'm done mocking my lack of skills. Give me some time to prctise and I'll surely kick-ass! I'm a newbie, that's why I suck at it. Not totally my fault. (Don't say a damn thing! I may be in denial, but just indulge me this once.)

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The gathering was over by 6 pm.

The hell???
I thought It'll last until atleast 9. Owh well, I'm in a shopping centre. Alone. With money my parents so generously gave me. I have tons of interesting shops around me. (Forever 21, topshop and all my fav butiques are on sale) Plus, I don't have to go home for atleast 4 more hours. Hmm.. what should I do??

By the time I (literally) tore myself from my temporary heaven, I was a couple of hundred ringgit poorer.

Fuck! I have to stop my compulsive shopping! Now I have to find a goddamn job! Thank god for my schollarship.

On a brighter note, I got these beautiful pair of silk heels, a pair of cute peasent slippers and a sequined top. (Obviously I have a little 'thing' for shoes) But I'm totally convinced it's genetic. My mom has the same problem and my dad can't seem to stop buying designer watches.

See?? NOT my fault.

Again, please ignore my denial.

FA Finals

Ronaldo is definitely fucking showing off.
He's getting too greedy for my liking and tried too many long shots. But he's attempts are blowing up in his face.
Hehee~ damn happy!

It's the 82th minute and Barca is up by 2 goals.
Ahahaha.. Love it! All Barca has to do now is to keep the momentum. and of course maintain their brilliant passing strategy.

I absolutely adore Messi's goal! Have you ever seen such an artful header?!
No wonder he's the leading scorer.. Ahh~ *Bliss*

3 minutes added time. There is no way in hell ManU can keep up now.....
Muehehe!!

Hah, see?? Barca deserves to win!
Too all Barca fans, let me be the first (as a representative from Chelsea) to say congratulations for winning the cup! Not to mention for besting those cocky fuckers!
Thank you and congratulations!!!

Fists Of Fury

I woke up at 1 pm today.
Hey, I don't normally wake up at this ungodly hour you know..
I was actually disturbed from my lovely dream, I normally wake up much MUCH later. (I don't really remember the dream, but I do remember that I could actually explain the mechanisms of radioactive reactions. Must be side effects of watching continuous episodes of The Big Bang Theory. Ahh~ I do love it when I dream about being smarter than I really am.) Ok, rambling..
Sorry.

Anyway, Abg called. I was just about to tell him to go away so that I can continue feeling smart when he told me that my best friend was in trouble.
Well, she was my support system yesterday. so now I guess I should repay the deed.


She ran away from home. (Oh no)
and she's waiting for me at the neighbourhood's gas station. (Oh NO)
Which means that I have to goddamn WALK all the way there under the scorching sun. (T.T)
I am such a good Friend. Exemplary I tell you!

So I washed up and grabbed my umbrella. (no way am I gonna fry my skin!)
Found her half way to the station. ( Yay! No more being fried!)

I had to take over the car. She as in no condition to drive.
Damn, even I was in no condition to drive after seeing her!
she looked like she had just cried her heart out. Plus, she had a swollen upper lip. It looked like she took half of Angelina Jolie's upper lip and attached it to hers!
(Sorry honey, but I did compare you to Angie!) *Ngeh~*
However, I dare not say that to her in fear that she'll suddenly break down.

Haiz..

Gotta get some ice for that.

Later, I finally found the reason for her nasty appearance.

Her brother had PUNCHED her!
what the fuck?!
Honestly, if my brother did that, I'll punch him right back (or die trying).
Who would have thought that a squabble about studying could be that dangerous?!
Poor girl. Thank god I only have one brother to deal with.
*sent silent prayer for I am luckier than I thought*

After the rather painful applying of ice to her lips.
Everything else was like deja vu.
lock ourselves in car. Ate fast food. Talked it out.

By 6, we went home. Huh, that was easy. *Again, thank god*

Oh, by the way, if you're reading this babe, I left my umbrella in your car.

Just Knock Me Down!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??

I've been very 'Emo' recently.
Fuck it, I keep looking at my nails (painted 'midnight purple').
Such an 'Emo' colour.
Damn it! (can't believe I choose such a sombre colour.)
Haiz...
But at least I didn't stoop down to painting them black.
Now THAT would be too sad to bear.
And suddenly I'm back to listening Alanis Morissette, The Cranberries and quite honestly anything within that genre.
It's so bloody pathetic to be indulging myself in this, especially now that I'm on my sem break.


I am not denying it.
I'm wallowing in my misery / self pity / what ever the fuck you wanna call this.
(Isn't acknowledgement of your issues the first step to recovery?)
Ah, fuck it la!
I'm mocking my own sorry ass and I think it's apparent to you people too..

I know that I can't bottle up my feelings for much longer.
It's already proving to be harmful to my sanity.
(as you can clearly observe by reading this idiotic post.)

I had just spent hours with my support system.
We locked ourselves in her car and chowed down on Mc D. (to hell with diets!)
I love you babe, for being patient while listening to the crap that's coming out of my mouth!
But you have knocked some sense into me. (and for that I thank you.)


I should come clean soon.
It's clear that it's eating me up.
And to wait for the other person to act might just be like hoping that I'll find Sid Vicious next to me in bed.
"Aren't you like the-super-berani-that-borders-on-being-gila type? This will be a snap!"
I know I'm normally that girl, babe. But I'm dead scared of this..


I know I must say something. Make the first move. At least do something.
I know.
If only it was as easy as it sounds.

Laugh First, Cry Later.

*pulls pants*

"Uhh, what are you doing?"
"Nothing!"

I look pointedly at the sagging pants.

*she sighs*

"they're loose. I forgot to wear my belt. Do you have a pin?"
"No." *stifles laugh*


*Emits bigger sigh*
*Stifles bigger laugh*


The first store we went into was Ylang Ylang.
Absolutely LOVE the earth tones!

"Excuse me, do you have an extra pin?"
"Oh, hold on, let me check." (this came from the sales girl.)

This is why I love shopping at places like these.
they actually give a damn about their customers!

"Sorry ma'am, we don't have any pins."
"Can I borrow that sewing needle and some thread?"
"Sure. Take the colour you want."

What the hell is she going to do with a thread and a needle?
Then it hit me.
*Eyes went as round as saucers*


"Wait for me!" *ran to the dressing room*

She was already half done SEWING her pants' waist!
She just grabbed the extra fabric and sewed it together!!
And it was a fucking Laura Ashley!!!

"DON'T laugh!"

Too late, I let out a loud throaty laugh.
I was fighting the enormous urge to collapse laughing!

We left the store with a cute top.

*Let out a little giggle.*

"Owh! Shut up! Atleat I won't be spending the day tugging my pants!"




Ahh~ How I love and adore you mother..




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I found another pair!
It was so similar to my dream pair!

But they do NOT have my size!
I'm a fucking size 8.
Not a size 12!
It's not such a goddamn uncommon size poeple!
Make them in my damn size!
*Pulls Hair*



Heatbroken.
Absolutely heartbroken.
Again.

I Woke Up and Realized..

I've decided to delete my 'Aren't Societies a Bitch" post.

When I finally took the time to actually read it,
I came to realize what a complete bitch I can be. (form of compliment to self)
*Ngeh~*
And how I can put the blame on other's shoulders too rashly.



But most importantly, it wouldn't have done anybody any good reading it.
Not even me.
(I know, I'm a fucking softie!)



I'm not saying I've suddenly turned into a saint.
Heck, I still believe I've been wronged.
And yeah, I was hurt when it happened.
Not to mention damned pissed off at the person.

But maybe, just maybe...
she really thought that she had made the best decision.

Would I act similarly in her shoes?
Hell, yeah.
So I guess I'll be a lil' bit of a hypocrite if I continue to stay mad at her.

Arrgh! All this self-examination must have came from this damned new book I borrowed.
Thanks alot Fareez (Please note my HEAVY sarcasm)



Ahh well, it's all water under the bridge now.

Things that reduce me into goo.

"hye, what r u up 2?"


"nothing. juz reading."

"what r u reading? n since when were u so into reading? new 'Inspiration' eh?"

"angels and demons. No, I've always been into reading. but i read more during da holz. u pandang rendah kat I ke?"


*rolls eyes*


Angles and Demons?! ok, I admit that I've read it, but it was just to see what was all the hype about. Wanted so badly to ask why he was reading that book. but I might hurt his feelings again.
Haiz.. emo pulak dia ni. Quick! damage control.



"No! most of the guys I know don't like to read for fun. U seem like 1 of those guys. gila stereotype. sorry."

"no lah, u didn't do anything wrong. no need to say sorry. so, any plans 2moro?"

"Nothing. sleep n eat I guess. U?"

"same here, but I've been watching the sun rise/set in my free time. wish u were here."

Damn it! why did u have to go and say that??! I missed you already. Doing fucked up corny things were supposed to be OUR thing.

wanted to say i've missed you. and to come back here so we could do all the idiotic things we've planned to do. but i've never been too good at saying what I feel.

Damn it, look what you've done. Hate it when i become this pathetic blob.

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Watching the results finals of American Idol.

(nothing else interesting was on. Astro is getting goddamn boring!)



Was basically not paying attention to the people prancing on stage. Until Jason Maraz came on stage. I never cared for him much, but what grabbed my attention was not his kick-ass vocals but the fact that he wasn't wearing any shoes!



what the hell was all that about? dude, your fucking RICH! get a pair of shoes.

your also on stage, not by the beach.

I totally get the whole hobo look. but don't over do it..





They have also added their own little award show this year.

Wow, so original. but I guess they think they can get away with the faux pas. since the whole damn world is so into American Idol. *snickers*





At least they managed to get Cyndi Lauper.

And 'variety'.
KISS + Jason + Cyndi + Lionel Richie + Carlos santana + Steve Martin = madness!
Haha.. terabur, but telan je la..
Getting bored...







owh, btw, kris won.
yipee~ -.-

Tetestrone, Mixed Signals, and The Male Ego

I've never batted b4.

(nervous ni!)



*went up the stairs to the batting cage*



"i'm no good with sticks and balls"

"what?!"



*stopped and actually thought of what i've said*

haih.. I don't have a damn filter between my brain n my mouth la!



"that sounded wrong"

"pun intended"



(Might as well play along)



Ahh~ Men.







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Mama once told me when i was very young that i will never understand men.
she's right.


Exhibit A-

treats me well. (too well to my liking.. macam ada udang disebalik ramen..)
it's 1 thing to be juz nice,
it's another to be willing to waste his fuel that he paid for with his hard earned n not to mention limited amount of cash to drive me around shah alam n subang just becoz i LIKE it.
something is definately up..

takes me out, somethhing (who am i kidding?! ALOT) like dates.
does crazy things for me that i know is a burden to him, but he does it anyway. ( kira nak macho la..)
he gives me tons of these obvious msges that IMPLIES that he likes me.
but never say a word about it to me in person.
even when we've spent the whole day together.

was once tempted to just blurt out "U ni suka i ke tak ni?!" while he was driving.
Damn it.
If that really happens, i'll crawl under a rock n die of humiliation!


Exhibit B-

Same symptoms.
Just a different tactic.
instead of going out on a limb to do things for me,
he spends a ton on me.
i sense an udang somewhere again.. *antenna twitching hard!*
he also says nothing.
haiz...


Exhibit C-

He's younger than i am. (major turn on.. haha..)
goes out of his way to spend time with me.
tells everybody but me that he's intersted. (obtained from valid sources?)
haha..


Conclusion-

I dont think they themselves know what their doing.
i'm going to keep shutting up.
Kinda fun to see how things turn out. *snickers*
anyway, i might juz be paranoid..
gila malu if i perasan sorang2 je..
*ngeh~*

Of Strappy Heels & Broken Hearts

i went to the butique.. hope radiating through me..
i see it! Still on display! *sent a silent thank u prayer*
i asked for my size. the sales girl smiled n said 'b right back'

Yes! this is it! i'll finally get my dream pair of heels!
n it's more gorgeous than i remembered!
Bliss!!!


But she came back with nothing.
they dont have my size!
sold out!
Fuckety Fuck FUCK!
Aaarrrgh!
they only have microscopic n giant sizes!

i'm crushed.
tu lah, ponteng solat lg!
serves u right!
*my heart just shattered again writing about this*

I've never even felt like this when breaking up with any of my recent boyfriends.
Haihh...
maybe that pair was just not 'the one'.
Damn, now i'm getting sentimental..


getting sentimental over a pair of shoes..


gila shallow!~

The Virus

i have just spent way more then i should..
n i havent even bought my dream shoes yet...
damn..

*take deep breath*
atleast i got my compact.. i really needed that. (so purchase justified.)
but i did buy a pair of platform heels..
(Whatt???! it was on SALE!)
sigh... what the hell is wrong with me?!
*bash head on wall*


NEED. TO. GET. MORE. MONEY.

Going Strappy Over Straps

I saw a pair of lether strappy heels..
its gorgeous!!!
the price is gorgeous too...
damn...
im fucking broke!
but i have to heve it!
Gyaahh!!
I dint even get much sleep!

I'm going to the butique tomorrow.
if it's gone,
or not available in my size..
Ahh! *pulls hair*
dont wanna even think about it...