Just Knock Me Down!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??

I've been very 'Emo' recently.
Fuck it, I keep looking at my nails (painted 'midnight purple').
Such an 'Emo' colour.
Damn it! (can't believe I choose such a sombre colour.)
Haiz...
But at least I didn't stoop down to painting them black.
Now THAT would be too sad to bear.
And suddenly I'm back to listening Alanis Morissette, The Cranberries and quite honestly anything within that genre.
It's so bloody pathetic to be indulging myself in this, especially now that I'm on my sem break.


I am not denying it.
I'm wallowing in my misery / self pity / what ever the fuck you wanna call this.
(Isn't acknowledgement of your issues the first step to recovery?)
Ah, fuck it la!
I'm mocking my own sorry ass and I think it's apparent to you people too..

I know that I can't bottle up my feelings for much longer.
It's already proving to be harmful to my sanity.
(as you can clearly observe by reading this idiotic post.)

I had just spent hours with my support system.
We locked ourselves in her car and chowed down on Mc D. (to hell with diets!)
I love you babe, for being patient while listening to the crap that's coming out of my mouth!
But you have knocked some sense into me. (and for that I thank you.)


I should come clean soon.
It's clear that it's eating me up.
And to wait for the other person to act might just be like hoping that I'll find Sid Vicious next to me in bed.
"Aren't you like the-super-berani-that-borders-on-being-gila type? This will be a snap!"
I know I'm normally that girl, babe. But I'm dead scared of this..


I know I must say something. Make the first move. At least do something.
I know.
If only it was as easy as it sounds.