Kick with a fist

I lost two of my gold rings. I don't know where they went.

I am so dead. *Bash head on wall*

Mom will definitely kill me on the spot if I don't find them soon since it's worth my annual allowance. Damnit. I am in SO much trouble. Please, ~PLEASE~ do not take away my much needed allowance.

I am desperate. NEED. TO. FIND.THEM.

After wreaking havoc in the house (absolutely NOTHING is left unchecked!), I am now totally convinced that they have Bermuda Triangulated. *Poof!* Gone.
Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.

Ergo, if you hear a distant eerie scream, please know that it's me- possibly being strangled to death very violently (like how Homer Simpson strangles Bart). Thy are invited to my funeral if that really happens. Serves me right for my obvious stupidity. How on earth could I have misplaced such an important item??! Grr.. Padan sama muka sendiri.

Am currently hoping that it'll magically pop up somewhere. Kinda naive, but finger's crossed anyways.

***
Am watching Arsengal V. Chelsea.

We must win. Though I do not make it a habit to bet on football matches, much hangs in the balance of this one.

Bullying rights must be mine!

In the spirit of rudeness

The Raya hols was.. Blah. I can see it now, every raya will end up being mind numbingly boring with idiotic TV programs as our only escape- since the nearest city is a bloody 40 mins drive.

*Sigh*
How my dear cousin survived living there for most of her teenage life is beyond me.

***
I seem to be in the company of extremely rude people lately. And frankly, I'm getting quite pissed off with all the bullshit.

I've always believed in the theory of nice bringing fourth niceness. But really! Everybody has their limits.

1. Just because somebody isn't decked out in their finest and doesn't cake their face with 1 inch worth of make-up does not make them low-lives. Treating a person as if they're 'sampah masyarakat' just because they do not look up to par with your expectations does NOT make it okay. And to do so in public- loudly at that! Dickhead. And no, apology NOT accepted.

2. If you don't have the stuff to be in the service business, get another fucking job. Here's a tip, when people are nice enough to actually say please and thank you to you for your services- especially when they don't have to since they fucking PAY for your services anyway, know that we do it out of courtesy. Because lets face it, we all have shitty jobs. We're trying to give you a goddamn break. So don't go around telling your customers that your on your monthly PMS by slamming things around and looking like you have something smelling extremely unpleasant under your nose. It ain't attractive.

Am so over being nice. Have plastered a plastic smile on my lips for the whole day and am getting damned tired of it.

Fuck you.

Insanity Streak

I feel stupid. Idiotic on a whole new level. And definitely guilty.

When it comes to telling people how I feel, it has always been somewhat complicated. It's not that I don't feel. Because I do. But I prefer do it in private. I'm just not very comfortable letting my guard down. Even to the Bestie or boyfriend.

So when people asks if I'm okay, I'll always say that I'm fine. It's always easier to remain my stoic self than talk about it. I've had too many melt downs as it is thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I can't even remember when was the last time any of my loved ones poured their heart out to me. It all seems so one sided. Sometimes it comes to a point that I simply feel guilty for putting them in such an awkward position. To force them to sit through my problems when theirs are so much more dire.

Simply put, I don't wanna burden them. Plus, I'm not quite ready to analyze this problem just yet.

So what if I seem a tad sad? Besides, I don't even think about it that often. Sometimes things do fade away.

And the little fibs I tell are for the best. I know some of you guys may not understand this. Especially those who I know would have helped me even if I didn't ask them to. I love you for always being there for me, so maybe someday. Regardless, I'm sorry I have to do this.

I choose the lesser evil for the greater good.

The fire that works

BOREDOM. Utter mind numbing boredom.

This is why I do not look forward to holidays. I'd rather not have any long holidays at all. Really. Laxer timetables for the whole year is much more preferable. 1 or 2 classes per day. Bliss.

Unfortunately, I'm not the bloody minister of higher education. Ergo, here I am. Stuck at home all day. Watching fucking bad rap music videos on MTV and stupid magic tricks on AXN.

***

To my immense annoyance, I've been getting all these hints that I should change. Change how I dress. How I carry myself. How I speak. In fact, maybe it's better if I don't speak my mind at all, since what's on my mind is seldom ever conventional.

I have to be 'like everybody else' but when I point out that in fact, I'm NOT that different then 'everybody else'. They do a 180 and say that I shouldn't peg myself to 'everybody else'.

???

What the fuck is THAT?! If you just really want me to be the way YOU want me to be, please atleast be frank about it. Don't take me for a goddamn fool and try to sugar coat it. It's fucking demeaning. I'm no idiot.

And I'll stay the way I am. Thankyouverymuch!

***

To make it worse, I miss the boyfriend. Badly.

I know he'll make everything go away. As he always does. And I cannot wait to see him after work.

I need my refresh button :)

Somewhere I belong

1. Put your music player on shuffle (ALL MUSIC).
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK" YOU SAY:
How to save a life- The Fray.
(Hahaha.. This means that it's NOT ok.)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY ?
Mr. Brightside- The Killers
(LOL. Ironic much??)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
You belong with me- Taylor Swift
(No, I do NOT like to share my man! He's mine, and mine alone~)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
A beautiful lie- 30 seconds to mars.
(I did tell a lie today. Can't say it's beautiful though..)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Never lies- Lupe Fiasco ft. Mike Shinoda
(HAHA! Contradicting much??)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Little lovers so polite- Silver Pickups
(Ohhh.. I'm never polite as a lover~)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Everybody want's to be a cat- The Aristocats
(Hahahaha! Spot on! Meow~ Ramen!!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Fading- Long View
(Now THAT sounds like me..)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Falling for you- Long view
(a foursome?? whee~)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Taper Jean Girl- Kings of Leon
(You are as cool as this song babe!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Smile like you mean it- The killers
(I know he really means all his smiles for me. ~love bird mode~ Hahah.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Slide- The Goo Goo Dolls
(Things slide into place. Love it!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Away from the sun- Three Doors Down
(To another planet it is! Pluto, here I come!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sex on fire- Kings of Leon
(Whoo.. Hot. hot! HOT!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Attack- 30 Seconds from Mars
(The only thing I attack often is their wallets! Hohoho!)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Chew me up & Spit me out- Cobra Starship
(Good, the least romantic song I know.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Kill- 30 seconds to Mars
(Hahahahahahahaha.. That's what you will hear from the ground. I shall be laughing at the absurdity of it all in my grave. thankyouverymuch!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Hemorrhage- Fuel
(Ohh.. I do give that to people. Muahahaha!)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Kantoi- Zee Avi
(Kehkeh.. I'll never tell! Kan biawak??)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Apologies- Grace Potter
(Such a lovely song! And maybe I SHOULD apologise to more people.. Oh well, that's what Raya is for!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Burn- The cure
(I know.. Do not play with fire.)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Breaking the habit- Linkin Park
(Errk?? So I should just go on facebook all day for the rest of my life??)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Ironic- Alanis Morisette
(My whole life is goddamn ironic. I can't regret my whole life now can I?)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Plastic passion- The cure
(Plastic passions' a lover's nightmare~ Haha.)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
LSF (Lost souls forever)- Kasabian
(Sad indeed. However, I am a lost soul no longer!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
My December- Linkin Park
(Gettin married in December is so cliche. Wait, does this mean I will actually get married??!)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Further- Long View
(No comment.)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
The Boys of Summer- The Ataris
(Hotter ones please..)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Never say never- The Fray
(Wow.. That's actually deep. Don't let me go~ )

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Somewhere I belong- Linkin park
(Fine. Whatever.)

I 'heart' kimchi pizza

Finally! Something interesting happened.

Youth Exchange Prog 09! (Hey, it's MUCH better then pushing papers all day. I think I have permanent scars from all the goddamn paper cuts!)

It started with yet another (sigh!) meeting..

1 picture= 1,000 words. Since meetings go pretty much the same every time, no extended explanation needed.

(Wasn't paying attention anyway..)

Kids from 14 korean universities came to pay a visit to universities all over the ASEAN countries.

1. I was so bloody jealous! They get to travel. For FREE!

2. They are going shopping tomorrow. Damn my mollah-less state. Need $$$

3. If it weren't for the fact that they ware so damn nice, I would've hated them all.

(And I've never seen such an energetic bunch of people. They're like energizer bunnies! All chirpy and cheery.)

As you guys can probably tell, the only one who refuses to join the 'peace' festivities is moi.

4. We even cooked for each other. yes people, I COOKED and nobody had to go to the hospital. Sheesh. I'm not THAT bad at it. though I did sustain light injuries, the oil didn't wanna cooperate with me. I should've used the wok's lid as a shield, but I really wanted to at least look like a domestic goddess. Heh.

Anyway, they made us kimchi pizza which is basically kimchi in a batter. I know.. Fermented veggies in a batter??? Sounds gross, but it was actually quite good.

See?? Proof that I can do it~

(However, please note that I used the stove nearest to the fire extinguisher. HaHa!)

5. These Korean girls have amazing bodies. Tall and slender. And they eat so little! Grr.. And I absolutely LOVE their outfits. I almost swooned for a cool black dress one of them were wearing. Unfortunately, you have to have a figure of a stick to actually look good in something like that. I would've looked like a rotting black pumpkin.

6. My boss made me wear a wedding dress. Unfortunately, I wasn't paid extra for it. Anyway, when else can I wear a Korean wedding gown, or any wedding gown for that matter. Will NOT happen- at least not with out a prenuptial agreement :)

What did I tell you? These Korean chicks are like fucking sticks with porcelain skin.

Another meeting tomorrow. (Sigh!) And since I have to have a report on it, I actually have to pay attention :(

Chubby-chub

It's official. I'm getting chubby-er. Damnit!

*Sigh* I knew all those late nite snacks and my monstrous appetite will get the better of me.

It's normal for first timer diners to go into shock when they see me eat. Heck, even Dura-D's Boyfriend got wide-eyed looking at my large bigmac set + sundae + fillet-o-fish fit in my tummy. And that was WITH due warning! All the food Bermuda triangulated in me. *Poof* Gone. Yes people, I eat like a bloody truck driver. Thank god the boyfriend got used to it by now and decided not to leave me despite the huge dinner bills he has to pay :)

I had always been somewhat comfortable with my weight. Hell, I know that I'll never be one of the 'skinny girls'. I love food too damned much to be one of 'em. But lately, I've been more subconscious about it.

Maybe it's because of the disturbing fact that my booty looks more compact in my jeans or the little comments people keep giving me like "Wah! Dah sehat sekarang, mesti sebab bahagia.." Whaddafuck is that?? So can you even blame me for being a tiny bit more paranoid about it? Hey, when it comes down to it I am STILL a GIRL.

Tsk..Tsk.. And a lil pointer for the lads out there. Unless you're 100% sure that the girl doesn't mind you criticizing her weight (and please note that these girls are EXTREMELY rare), then keep your mouth the fuck shut. Really. The only thing you'd do is hurt their feelings. Or worse, she'll hurt you. Never underestimate a girl. ESPECIALLY if she's in high heels. Anyway, didn't your mummies ever tell you that it's impolite to comment on a girl's weight? (This also applies for age)

Anyhow.. As amazing as it sounds, I'm trying my darnest to stick to a diet. *sigh* I do not think it's working. I had a Cornatto cone today, McD's strawberry sundae yesterday and Pak Li's cendol the day before that. I simply can't help it!

Huih... Fail!

Maybe it is my destiny to be the chubby-chub. *Pfft!*

Turn on: Diet and get skinny mode!!!

My Anak Ikan

Somebody tried to preach to us about 'the dangers of a guy who's alone with a woman'.

Preacher says;
"Kalau kucing jumpa ikan, dia makan ikan tu ke main guli?"

Ofcourse, he answered;
"Makan ikan..." (As expected of him)

But what he really wanted to say was;
"Kalau kucing tu gay, dia main guli la."

Hahahaha! And people still ask me why I'm with him!

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I now also know that I cannot boss him around.

The last time I tried, he burst out with a "I'm not an anak ikan!"

*Grins* I love doing that to him~
Que evil laugh; "Muahahaha!"

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

'Tempat sejuk' and it's rides were absolutely mind blowing. :)
Twas worth the hassle. :)
Am still sore form all the fun. :)
Too bad it had to end. :(
But there will always be next time. :)

Words unsaid

Have you ever had a cup of coffee and sit by the shop's patio/huge-ass window alone?

To just sit there for hours and enjoy your own company?

I do. And I usually use this time to 'people watch'. Okay! It sounds super creepy, but it's actually not. It's amazing how you can realize the existence of life's simple little wonders when you actually take the time to SEE it.

As I have MADE all of you aware of (I'm sorry. I can't help it.), I'm totally in my Lovey-dovey mode. So when I see a couple right across me staring lovingly into each other's eyes (excuse the cliche), I go; "Awwhh.. That's SO cute." But after half an hour of it and NO talking whatsoever, I finally go "what the fuck is going on?? They can't be THAT in love with each other!"

Then, the guy starts to gesture. It took me about 15 seconds to finally figure out that he was using sign language. Which I did not expect since he spoke to the waiter. The girl gestured back. Ahh... It's the girl.

For some reason I find that wonderful. For two people with obvious barriers but in the end, get over it is not something common. I could imagine how hard it must be in the beginning. Props to the guy for seeing her inner beauty. The world needs more people like that.

They didn't talk much. Just a flurry of hand gestures and then they'll just look at each other for another 15 minutes. It was like a dance, they moved exactly in sync! (Again, excuse the cliche.) He seemed to know that she wanted to do and moved WITH her. When she wanted a drink, He'd let go of her hands. When she's done, they'll be right back in his.

It was wonderful just watching them. It's like a comfortable routine. It made me warm inside. And for that, I silently thank them. I know it seems silly, but at that moment I was actually happy for 2 complete strangers.

The world ain't so bad after all. :)

Miss smarty-pants

Exams are FINALLY over. Whee~

Last paper; Contracts.

What I did the night before the exam; Watch season 3 of The Big Bang Theory. (+.+)"

Ergo, this was how my final paper was;
Part A: "oh, okaay. I can do this.. I think."
Part B: "Eh? Can he get back his money? It's SO not fair if he can't. The law IS supposed to be fair right?? So my answer is YES! He can have his money back. Now, what section to use.."
Part C: "Hahaha... Why did the question use such a Malay name like Idris to be the character who's drunk?? Why not use western names like Nate?? *Grins* Uh-oh. Too many issues. What's the answering structure for this paper anyway?!"

Ha! Serves me right for ditching last minute studying efforts to go watch a fucking sitcom. (Albeit, a fucking good sitcom.)

Now, whatever my results shall turn out to be, I shall NOT get upset. I DID bring it upon myself.

Oh well...

At least I DID study for it. That makes me less of an idiot. (I hope)

It's not like I didn't care about my last paper. And it's sure as hell not an easy one either. But oddly, I find myself 'at peace' with it.

Que sera sera~

Me In Headlights

Who says exam week was supposed to be boring?

Life is fun when you make it fun. Or in my case, when you're totally reckless. (+.+)

Honestly, I've never experienced such different torrents of emotions in one night.

From Happy to weepy (Hey! I'm NOT a total ice queen. And It's NOT cute! Hurmp!) to complacent to almost-shit-my-pants-freaked-out to totally excited and to bummed.

I could have lost everything. The proverbial shit hits the fan, if you may. But it felt so damn good when we got away.. Now I totally understand the intoxication Bonnie had over Clyde.

And only one person can drive me to such extent. *Wink2* Now I shall reaffirm my stand; I'd rather be with a man who's streetsmart then one who is only booksmart (asking for both in one man shall be too selfish) because I don't think a booksmart man would've got us off the hook that easily.

Unfortunately (for ya'all) I shall be bribed to never tell about my little exploits. Too bad. But I'm sure the bribe shall be waaay better than the satisfaction of telling a good story. Hehehehe..

So I shall wait in anticipation of what you can do to make me feel oh-so-bribed. I told you that you should totally be a policeman! See how good you are at IT? Even now. By the time you're 40, You can be a fucking legend~ And I shall be your queen. Ha!