Insanity Streak

I feel stupid. Idiotic on a whole new level. And definitely guilty.

When it comes to telling people how I feel, it has always been somewhat complicated. It's not that I don't feel. Because I do. But I prefer do it in private. I'm just not very comfortable letting my guard down. Even to the Bestie or boyfriend.

So when people asks if I'm okay, I'll always say that I'm fine. It's always easier to remain my stoic self than talk about it. I've had too many melt downs as it is thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I can't even remember when was the last time any of my loved ones poured their heart out to me. It all seems so one sided. Sometimes it comes to a point that I simply feel guilty for putting them in such an awkward position. To force them to sit through my problems when theirs are so much more dire.

Simply put, I don't wanna burden them. Plus, I'm not quite ready to analyze this problem just yet.

So what if I seem a tad sad? Besides, I don't even think about it that often. Sometimes things do fade away.

And the little fibs I tell are for the best. I know some of you guys may not understand this. Especially those who I know would have helped me even if I didn't ask them to. I love you for always being there for me, so maybe someday. Regardless, I'm sorry I have to do this.

I choose the lesser evil for the greater good.