All I Need

These couple of days has been one fucked up emotional roller coaster ride.

In order to cheer my sorryass up, Mr Penyabar whisked me away to the place I love best. The beach! The main reason why he wants to bring me there; to see the sun set! Haha.. Lame, yes I know.. But the lameness is what makes our relationship so damn good!


Got there around 4pm and the sun was on super-hot mode. Fuck. I'm like the oldies vampire (not the twilight version shit), I get burned under the sun's rays. Thank god I was wearing a flowy dress that has good ventilation. Plus, Mr Penyabar was my make-shift shield. So I wasn't badly burnt.


By the time it was cool enough to go and play, the sun was already starting to set. It was gorgeous.

See hideous toes all covered in mud at the bottom?

Yeah, they're mine.. in his sandals.

(^.^)

I forgot how fun it was. Just to sit on the warm beach, wind blowing, and the feel of sand between your toes. Was definitely a much needed cleansing experience.


We walked aimlessly across the beach, till we got chased by some friggin' dogs. Haih.. jauh sangat merayap! Dah lah we were the only one's there! (apart from some stray nelayan la..) Sungguh berani.. (-.-)" After that, we basically stayed put- far FAR away form big doggies with huge teeth. watched the sun set while talking, taking pictures and playing with the sand. Now THAT'S what I call multitasking! BTW, I make some awesome balled sand yo! All so perfectly shaped. I even paired them up, but Mr Penyabar said it looked like not-so-innocent balls. Damn you! Sheesh, men!

I would've published a picture with him in it,

but as he seems so adamant on remaining anonymous,

I shall respect his wishes.

After years, that fateful day has finally brought back my glow.

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On the way back, a sudden thought struck me; how long can I stay this way??

I always knew the day would come when I'd finally have to let him go. I've even been mentally preparing myself for it. But the sense of loss that I feel, the sadness.. It was so overwhelming. Have you ever felt a sadness that wraps around your heart and squeezes so hard it becomes a physical pain? Yeah, it sounds goddamn melodramatic, but that's exactly how I felt. Fuck, I did NOT expect that. I honestly thought that I'll just go through the motions. Just like how I go through all my past break-ups; detached and unemotional.

I think he somewhat sensed my distress. And after much cajoling, he finally got me to say what's on my mind. As always, he held my hand, the same way he always does.. Not too tight, so that I can simply pull away if I want to and not too loose, so that I know he's there for me. *Sigh* Bliss!

We stayed that way for awhile. The road was pitch black. Highway with no road lamps yo! And to top things off, Sixpence none the richer's "Kiss me" was on the radio. He picked that moment to say these words; "I wanna hold your hand for as long as I can. I'm not letting go." I didn't say anything, but he read my face and knew that I was touched. He was more of a boyfriend to me then most of my real ones.. even when we were mere friends. I can't even imagine what more can he do if we were really together.

But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to just wait and see.

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Watched 'The Taking Of Pelham 123' today.

I was totally bummed that the crazy but way smart Ryder died in the end. He was the Taiko! Gila cool.. Opps~ Was that a spoiler?? sorry..