An Inconceivable Event

I cannot believe I'm doing this! I must be out of my fucking mind!
I want the jobs to earn money. NOT to be some sort of superstar.


I'm in waaay over my head.
I don't want to be a supermodel (per se), just a model. Period.


Mummy won't say yes.. No, no, NO! How can I do this if she doesn't want me to do it? (Even if I so desperately want this.)
I feel on top of the world while on the job. But I feel SO bad afterwards. I'm not doing anything wrong (well, at least I believe so). I just need my family's support in this. I just want the experience. And the money that may come.. *sigh*


This is so fucked up. How much longer can I keep up with this? I just want a small job to earn a little pocket money.. Not to be in Malaysia's version of ANTM! (for you noobs, It's short for America's Next Top Model.) (^.^)
Malaysian Teen Top Model?? OMG! Can I do this?? *Aahhh!!!*

The point is moot, I am so fucked.





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I shall NEVER again Scoff at how easy modelling is! Ever. On the second day of shooting, all of my limbs (and then some!) felt as if they're ready to fall off!

And as an added bonus, I get so tired to the point that I'll not be able to reply Mr Penyabar's messages.. (So, sorry syg!) *Sigh* Once I get home, I just go blank and black-out.

As you all can see, my little bloggie was neglected as well..


Thank god I don't have to do this often.


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Gila lah! I sangat hebat! Once done (done?? keluar early lah!) with my photoshoot, I went straight to UiTM to get ready for Kenny's wedding. Cannot miss! Mummy and Daddy will KILL me if I do! Family first!

Mr Penyabar really outdid himself (yet again) by picking me up from the shooting's location and driving me to where ever I wanted to go. I asked for his help at the very goddamn last minute and he had to travel all the way to Malacca that day, and yet he still said yes. (Ok, getting emo with gratitude here.. Haha, this is a first!) In short, THANK YOU! This is why I love you. you're the only person I know who'll put up with my crap and help me anyway.


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I normally HATE going to weddings. Despise it even. I can't stand all the 'fakeness'. So I basically go out of pity for mummy who would or else go alone. But for some odd reason, I actually enjoyed this particular one. I can't put my finger on the exact reason why, but I guess actually recognising the bridegroom must me one of the factors..


The event itself wasn't out-of-this-world grand, but it was filled with moments that struck my heart. Like the groom's speech on how he loved his parents even though there was a point in his life when he didn't like them very much (I guess he was putting it lightly), (that was a definite tear jerker moment. I almost shed a tear. ALMOST. I don't cry at weddings. Ever.) or like the way one of my great uncles cooed about his when-young-was-a-hot-air-hostess-and-now-lives-in-Singapore niece. The way he talked about her was different. Not like an old man trying to boast to other family members to say that he's better then the rest (which is what I usually get at weddings) but he actually talked about her as if he sincerely adores her.

He talked a great deal about this niece of his, even went through the trouble of introducing us. I can see that this old man just wanted his niece's approval and love. It was a whole new experience to see such naked longing for something so simple yet pure. I have to admit, I was taken aback. Anybody who paid even half of their attention to this poor old man can tell what he yearns for. It was THAT obvious. But that's the problem with people; they hear but don't listen, they see but don't look.


You don't get to see what I saw today very often in people. I was glad I was there to witness that.


Owh, did I mention that I almost killed somebody at the wedding too?? *Spent few minutes chuckling* After dessert, when evrybody's getting ready to leave, I had this seriously painful tummy ache (I think my tummy hates me). During my quest (ceh2!) to find the toilet -FAST!- I actually knocked over this HUGE fancy candle/flower holder that would've crushed both my grandma and aunt! Whoa.. Double homicide! haha! But luckily it didn't hit them.. *phew*


What an eventful wedding.. My verdict; Pass!