Things That I've Lost.. And Am Still Losing

This is one of the worst days I've ever had.


I'd already felt like shit when I woke up, Now I feel like... A whole messy putrid pile of shit. Yesterday was bleak. More worries and not a sign of Mr Penyabar to take my mind off things. (I know I'm relying waaay too much on him, but what the hell. Egos aside, I also know that I need him. So there.)


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Still have no bloody idea what to do about my clashing classes. The office seems to be as clueless as I am and they keep redirecting the students to other random offices. Boleh pusing satu UiTM! the fuck lah kan?? I'm so sick and tired of caring, so I'm just gonna chill and let others do the inquiries. I'll get the memo soon enough.


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Went to Mawar for lunch. And it turned out to be the worst decision of the day.



After eating, I felt really really drowsy. I have no idea why. I had no intention to sleep. Had another class at 2 and after that, I was even planning to help out Lawsoc at 4!



Anyway, I fell asleep. The door was closed (of course) but it wasn't locked. (I had no idea how I could've forgotten that! I always lock the door, even if I need to piss really bad...) *Sigh* When I woke up (Due to Anna talking on the phone), my 2nd baby (my hand phone) was gone, and so was my purse. Fuckingpukisial!



I was IN the room! Fast asleep. ALONE! The phone was right beside me. and my purse was inside my ZIPPED bag! I was shocked and scared outta my wits. What if the thief had malicious intentions?? I could've been DEAD. I know, it's over and done with, but STILL! It could've happened! Fuckscary!



I sleep a lot, but I'm a light sleeper. Even Anna's whispers can wake me. How can I not realise that somebody broke into the room??! Auntie Laila says that I might been a victim of 'pukau'. But you all know I don't believe in that shit.. But what if I was?? *Sigh*



Now All my contacts are gone. My music, gone. My pictures (Owh, God..), gone. My money, My ATM cards, My ID, my driver's licence, My student card, My MPH and Popular cards, VIP club cards.. Holy fuck! EVERYTHING is gone! (T.T)


Sad and broken hearted, I dragged my sorry ass to the police station to report the theft.

Turns out that I'm not the only victim. wth? Gila berani this bitch! The other girl had the exact same report, around the same time, and near the same area. Coincidence?? I don't think so.


Haih.. If you wanna be a penyangak, tak payah la susah-susah study. Buat malu university students je! Baik quit, jadi penyangak full-time. There's a bunch of more deserving people out there craving for an education. Orang macam pencuri-pencuri ni memang lah tak layak dapat the privilege! You're supposed to be educated. In some ways, more refined then others.. The hell lah kalau stok Mencuri macam orang sial je kan?? Bazir masa lectures je cuba civilize people like that!


If your reading this dear thief, please know that every cent you spend or earn from my stuff will only rot your soul slowly. Whatever you spend it on, it'll bring you a series of unfortunate events. Whatever it may be! If you dare use it on food, the dirty blood running through your veins will be passed down to your descendants.. Forever cursing them to a life of horrendous luck. Buy shoes, you'll probably trip and break your legs. ( tu pun kira baik, I could just pray for you to break your neck. I'm showing you mercy, bitch.) So yeah, I can keep a grudge.


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People has been asking me why oh why did I quit my job instead of leaving Lawsoc?? They say I must be outta my mind, that I'm screwed up. Yes, I'm screwed up, But I do have my reasons. Reasons that only one person can guess, and I plan to keep it that way. That's the one weakness I do not want to be out in the open. Ever.

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I can't contact you. Maybe it's a good thing.. Coz I know I should try to stand on my own.

I yearn...

For your warm comforting arms, for you to just hold me and never let go.

For the calm soothing silence we always share, never like the deafening silence that's normally surrounding me.

For the little whacky stunts you pull just to make me laugh. However stupid it may be.

The urge to run to you is almost painful. I know that I shouldn't, but I want to.. So, SO badly.

Save me, coz I'm not sure I can save myself.