This Shit has to STOP!

What the fuck did I do??!

Falling into another bout of my psycho kucar-kacir mood swings is NOT a good reason to turn to him. Again.

Last night I totally lost it. I SMSed him to tell him that I wanted to see him (macam hebat la cakap that I wanted to see him and assume he'll just come running) and gulped down all the sleepers I could find. Ten minutes later, I was out cold. The next morning Susah macam sial nak bangun! Not even the fucking long cold shower could sober me up.

He came right on time. But my state of mind was nowhere near cured. So I made him wait for me till I felt ready to go (which was almost an hour!). Then pretty much pretended to be happy.


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To cheer me up, he got me a ticket to watch Transformers2. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing but I have to admit, the lack of drama/plot and the continuous fighting/explosions/cool vehicles turning into kick-ass killing machines did me good. The movie didn't give me much room to think about anything else, good! (Except for food, I totally pigged out on the popcorn and the aunt Anne's pretzels that I've snuck in.) Fuck the diets! I know I'm getting damned fat.

Just 1 thing about the movie nags me.. What the hell happened to the twins? I mean, did they die in the end?? If they did, why didn't they show the audience how the big power-rangers-vacuum-like Decepticon kill them? Or if they didn't die, why didn't they stop the Decepticon from ripping up the pyramid to get to the suck-the-sun's-power machine? *Sigh* This is what happens if you incorporate logic into a flashy movie. *Groan* I sound like a goddamn geek! Stopping now. (but seriously, if somebody knows what happened, tell me!)


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On the way home, I lost it. Again. So like a fucking emo idiot, I cried in his car. Again. And he had to console me. Again. Poor guy. Why, oh WHY did I do that?? Stupid bitch. Agaknye dah menyampah nak mampos with my antics. I never even explained why I was in such a mess. Oh, I told him the same old story, with minor new twists, but never really explained. He just held my hand and let me be. In some weird way, it was just what I needed. Explaining it would've just shredded me into pieces.