Revamping, Again.

There comes a point in one's life where one wonders, whatthefuck is going on?? When one does not understand what one is feeling or even why one is feeling so.


This nagging feeling of hopelessness and loss is eating me up. I feel... unattached, alone somehow. And quite frankly I think I'm losing my marbles because I, of all people, should have the least reasons to feel so. It completely baffles me how I can be my composed self one minute and dissolve into a self-pitying sobbing mess in the other. I tell those who are dear to me that I'm fine. And to those who know me better than to believe my crap, I simply say I do not know why I'm not fine.

Technically, I'm not lying. I don't really know why I feel this way but I have a sinking feeling that I'll find out if I try to pry my feelings and re-open semi-healed wounds. My demons and sick mind works in horrific ways. Too much apart of me to discard completely. Too many have warned me that this'll be my undoing -and I do not doubt them. Having said that, it gets fucking annoying when I'm not able to leave things be. Regardless of its unfinished and uncertain state, because it shouldn't matter. I have such a beautiful life now. I should be able to leave it as it is. God believe me, I've tried.

I have a vague idea of how ugly things may get if I try to get to the bottom of this, but the prospect of having to stare at my worst fears right in the face, I have to cowardly admit, is something I am not yet ready to do.



Looking at other outlets to distract myself is (thankfully!) working. Though those outlets doesn't necessarily make sense to others, but it does to me -and as far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters. One of which was to chop my long locks off (to the dismay of the Bestie), There's just something liberating about it. Like I'm removing all the extra baggage, a chance start over. A new me, if you may. And as silly as this sounds, it made all the sense to me.

Self-destructing acts such as my bad (albeit underdeveloped) smoking habit is no more. After all the shit that has happened, I don't need to add another chronic disease into my list. Yes, I know it's harebrained to start and its just gonna make it worse but sometimes.. why don't just speed up the process? Ha. There I go again.. But still, am sticking to the new resolution!

I have too much to lose to start turning into a nut job now. More then I might care to admit actually. Finally, every aspect of my life is good, if not completely perfect. Now the hard part begins -maintaining it.

Happy Raya~ (Not)

The last day of Ramanthan, and we’re all squished in the car at 2 fucking a.m. Balik kampung. (read without merriment) I know exactly what’s in store for me. And I do not like it.


When it was time for sohor, we stopped at the highway’s R&R. There’s a KFC outlet there. Phew. Thinking that I’ll feast on my fav spicy chicken, I gladly wait in line. But when I got to the counter, (please note that the line was waaay long, I started at the fucking front door!) the cashier told me that they’re all out of chicken. Nothing at all. Not even nuggets! So what DO they sell you ask? NASI LEMAK. Plain, unappetising ones at that! In goddamn Styrofoam!! Wtf?? I’m tired, I’m hungry and I’ve just wasted 20 mins in line. At that point, I was seething. They didn’t even have the courtesy to tell those in line that they’re all out of chicken. Damn incompetent idiots.


We ended up buying nasi goreng in one of the pathetic stalls nearby. Have these people ever heard of quality?? *sigh* Apparently not. The taste was as bland as how it looks. But I ate anyway, beggars can’t be choosers. Plus, I would rather not engage in hard labour on an empty stomach, Thankyouverymuch.



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Twas worse that I thought. Sweeping and cooking, I could handle –although I detest it. But gardening -NO (the word is too gentle!) berkebun was a whole new ball game. I not only detest it, I HATE it with every fibre of my being.


If you happen to pass by, You’d see me toiling in gigantic patches of weeds and untamed flowering plants (if you can call it that, giant weeds with thorns is more like it!) My hands now have scratches and blisters all over them and there’s dirt under my fingernails that I just can’t seem to remove, no matter how hard I scrub. *Sigh* Oh, did I mention that I was also eaten alive by bugs? Huh, and I thought that we had supernyamoks at home. Here, they’ve evolved into megasupermyamoks! Damn them!


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A total of 2 families came by the big old mansion this year. TWO! And both did not present us with duit raya. Owh well, I didn’t expect they would anyway. But TWO visitors?? This is beyond sad. Especially after all the work we’ve put into making the old place presentable..


I wonder how bad it'll be next year.

Hols-er-riffic

I wish I had a refresh button. Yes, as in the one you have when you right click your mouse.

One click and hey, presto! Your back on top of your game! *Sigh* I have no idea why I feel so lethargic. It's just one of those days when you just feel down and out. Everyday it's the same old thing. I'm in a rut. And a very stressful rut at that!

I need to unwind, and I know exactly what to do to achieve that. Dear God, forgive me. (=.=)"



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The hols are here! Normally I would be psyched, no more classes for a week! But not getting to sleep in a proper bed for 4 days and a ton of cleaning to do is not a very jolly hols in my book.

*Sigh* Is it just me or is this year's Raya especially dull? It seems so boring this year. No preparations, no house full of relatives.. Heck, we don't even have goddamn raya cookies -we used to get those at least a week before raya. And since I'm 'all grown up' now, I have to toil in the kitchen (contrary to popular beliefs, not all women enjoy enslaving themselves over the hot-like-hell stove. I'd rather sit with the boys and watch the telly, thankyouverymuch!).

Unfortunately for me, the older female relatives (including dear mummy) will start saying annoying phrases like "Oh dear, if you cant stay in the kitchen, how on earth are you gonna get married?" My god. So kuno. I mean, what's the point of me cracking my head open at Uni if I'll just end up in the kitchen? I can cook just fine. No, don't laugh. I really can! Okay, so it ain't 5 star, but what does it matter?? That's what 5 star restaurants are for! And if I (ever do) get married, I'll make a point of warning my beau very early in the game. Fair right??

But god forbid I retort something on those lines! They'll just say I'm ignorant and/or rude. Then I'll surely get a tongue lashing from mummy later. *sigh* I just can't win can I?

Plus, a week and a half of hols with him back home is no fun. I know it's still early in the hols but knowing that it'll be that long just makes it worse. I miss him miserably already. Am currently thinking of ways to trick him into come back to me early. But then that means I'm taking him away from his dear family.. Haih, I hate it when I get guilty doing what I really want.

Am NOT looking forward to this..

Beware! Giant Panda On The Loose

One week till Raya. Can't fucking believe it!
No, I'm happy that the hols are coming up. The finals right after Raya, not so much. *Sigh*

I feel as if my brain has turned to mush and the darn thing refuses to receive any new law related knowledge. (Things non-law/academic on the other hand, I can remember! Damnit!)

It's like I have a 512 MB memory card and it's full! Jam! Dah takleh masuk lagi. (Bayangkan bas sial kat UiTM yang dah penuh ngan org [aka, information].. Masuk lagi!- yells the bus driver [a.k.a me]. Memag dah takleh masuk. What to do??)

Hish. I wonder how I can upgrade my memory to 8GiG..
Maybe I should start by getting off my lazy ass and start studying.

Yeah riiight. Easier said then done!


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On a totally random note;

I love that hat! The panda hat.
It makes me look like a panda.
A pretty darn cute panda at that! Ha!
Complete with a cute lil tail at the back..
Wee~

I have been spotted by random strangers twice wearing that hat.

The same reaction; shock. Then amusement/laughter.

Yeah, I spread the happiness! Hohoho... Eh, silap.. Selamat~ Hari Raya~

Mesti dapat pahala coz buat orang lain girang. Haha.

But most importantly, I love it as it kept my ears from freezing off.

(Note to self; next time make sure you know where you're going first. Ergo you'll wear appropriate clothes and not bloody shorts and sleeveless top to a high-altitude-freeze-your-ass-off place!)

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Am still frustrated. Grr...
Need.To.Study.
Up-grade!
Assignments not done, fuck.
No study week, double fuck!

To top it off, dah la belum shopping raya.

Sheesh!

Choking Back Puke and Blowing Smoke

Once again, my precious 4 day hols is down the drain..
Last week's loss was due to the bloody memorials. This week, it's mooting.
(T.T)

Well, at least it was worth it.
I say this just because we won (at least) something. Ha!
Our hard work was not in vain.

The first round was ridiculous. Yes, we're a bunch of lucky bastards to get away with that. Against the part 6s, with no experience and a memorial & bundle of authorities yang berkualiti sampah.

Yours truly was so nervous, I was (literally) on the verge of throwing up. Right in front of the bloody judge. Hmm.. With enough velocity, I think it'll HIT the judge. Cool. Ha!

Thank god they were late AND unprepared.
Ergo, our asses weren't whipped and as a lil tidbit, we actually won.

Yeah! Props to our sponsor, the lil man in the cupboards!

(Excuse us, have gone crazy due to the stress..)

Much needed ego booster in my part. After that we pretty much dah perasan bagus and rolled with it.

Then....

We got to the finals! (O.0)

The finalist!!!

Ha! Sape entah la yang ber"peace" kat belakang tu..

Twas more than I've ever expected. And since we had to switch sides from the respondents to the appellants for the finals, I knew that winning was really slim. Ok, Winning was outta the question. (hey, I'm being realistic here!) But whatever, Mooting is definitely more fun then writing the memorials. (Kantoi lah I'm one lazy ass) So we went into it kamikaze style!

Who cares if we win or lose? Either way, we won't go home empty handed.

Second place was good enough. Ojan even managed to bag the special mention award.

And I landed the best mooter award. Ngee~

*Do the victory dance* Woot!

Special thanks to Feaz who practically toiled with the team that day.

Best trainer yo!

Tengok la muka orang perasan bagus! Heh~

PS; Thank you to everybody who came and gave their support! You guys are the BEST.

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That night, celebration time!!!

Did my disappearing act and bergembira tahap tak sedar diri.

Twas a fun night as I got to bully the boyfriend until he squirmed. Ha! That's what you get for missing my mooting! Que evil laugh- Muahahaha!!!

Being his dictator self, he forbid me (yes ladies and gentlemen, FORBID me! Mana tah dia dapat kuasa! Grr..) from smoking. So as an alternative, he introduced me to shisha (is that how you spell it?? Whatever la..)

I have to say, it's better than nothing. The next best thing baby! Haha.

Anyway, Quote; "Its much safer than smoking"

Hmm.. If you say so..

Prickle The Porcupine

This is one of those shitty weeks.

What with the various 'surprise' quizzes and tests thrown my way without due warning. Ergo, the next thing I knew, I was looking at the question papers and my head was filled with "..........."

Shit.



Oh! and not forgetting my mooting and the replacement classes.. It was a funny arrangement.. I had to replace my Constitution class during my Mandarin class. Hence, I must later replace my Mandarin class as I cannot be in two places at once now can I?? Haih, redundant kan?

So I'd figured that since I'm in my grouchy!-will-bite-your-head-off! mode, most of the people around me would be smart enough to NOT to pull hanjingsialpunyepalat acts on me. But apparently, I've overestimated their intelligence.



Honestly, I have no qualms of being the topic of gossips. Lets face it, I'm not exactly the 'friend-to-all' type and I'm definitely not a goody-two-shoes. So yeah, there are things about me that they can pick on. And really, some of them ARE really outrageous! My friends and I will roll on the floor laughing at how stupid it all is!

Plus, I ain't a virgin to malicious gossips either. A man-eater? boyfriend stealer? whore? Ice-queen? Money grabbing-bitch? Hah! Been there, done that. Heck, I was even confronted by a crazy bitch who followed me into the KTM just to yell at me and accuse me of stealing and sleeping with her boyfriend. The whole thing was in public and the whole damn tram was dead quiet, just waiting to see if there'll be a cat fight. Haha! Yeah, I did know the guy, but I've never even said a word to him! In the end, all I felt for the girl was pity. How desperate can you get to do something like that?? It's social suicide yo!


After that, things kinda got routine. The same old rumours, just different faces.

By now, I've learnt to deal with it. I can even (truly) laugh off all the bad gossips about me -when I have my friends around me, that is. The whole thing seems different when you have people to keep you safe and back you up when you need it. But what happens when you're alone is a whole different thing. When you finally get to think about it, you see how ugly things are and you feel it- the stabbing pain. Please, EVERYBODY feels it, to some degree. I just thank god that the more this happens, the less I feel.

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News flash! Apparently, I've been PAID to go out with a guy. HA! In actual fact, He's one of the nicest people I know. He's a friend and we do go out to grab a bite to eat, but no. There was no money given to me for my companion involved. Sheesh!

At first I was quite amused, was my company worth enough for a guy to actually PAY for it?? Hmm.. Just for the heck of it, maybe I SHOULD ask for payments. HEHE. Extra pocket money for me~ My friends and I even thought that I WOULD be a good escort and that I can pull of a New York style escort. Ergo, they now call me 'New York'. Heh.

But all the fun and games ended when I found out that my friend really did take the gossip seriously. I didn't blame him. He wasn't used to slander as I was. And I do remember how painful it was to be ridiculed like that. Twas not easy to forget. I felt so bad for him. He now thinks that everybody hates him. He'd even suggested that we don't go out anymore. Whatthefuck?! Like I'll roll with that! Gossip mongers, Mind your own fucking business!


Another gossip about a person I care for almost got me scaling up the wall! Before I knew it, I was seeing red and was spewing all the profanities available in my vocabulary (Twas pretty extensive!). I even want as far as to threaten them if they dared to repeat the gossip. The reasons why I have relationships and who I choose is none of your fucking business!

Great, now they can add crazy bitch to the long list. But hey, I can't help it. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY disses my loved ones in my presence and gets away with it.

Ironically, when asked WHERE did they get all these gossips from, nobody seems to know. They've heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend.. bla..bla..blah.. Sheesh. Since when was it cool to believe shit like these? I mean, REALLY, some of the gossips just doesn't make sense. Have our common sense dwindled THAT much??

..................

Wait! Don't answer that!
It'll just make us all feel worse.

(T.T)"

I'm Like an Ice-Cream

I'm done with my memorials! (Sigh. Finally!)

Had just sent my part to our poor solicitor (Overdue lagi..), and I now have only mere hours till my next lecture. Puan Imah pulak tu! *bash head on wall*
3 days of pure holidays, gone. (T.T) So sedey weh!

While my other friends have been partying the Merdeka night away (Puasa?? Terawih?? apa benda tu??? Heheh.), I'm stuck at home, in front of my computer (which refuses to detect the wireless. damn you!) and with books stacked up so high around me, it looks as if I've built a bloody fortress! Yes, hard to imagine, but oh-so-true. Nerd paling berjaya yo!

Even decline to watch the fire-works and gobble down take-away at our fav spot up the hill. So sorry Munyet, maybe next year.



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Granted, I've been quite a grouch these past days. But who wouldn't be??
I had to do quite alot of research (well, at least by my standards it's alot!) and then I have to actually UNDERSTAND what I'm reading (honestly, why can't these people write in simple English so that we mere mortals can understand whadaheck they're saying?! Sheesh. Dah pandai sangat lah tu..) and worst of all, I have to write the whole thing down (it's called a written memorial for a reason, honey). *Huge sigh*


The annoying part about this whole endeavour is that I ASKED for it. Okay, I it was more like I was cajoled into joining, but still! I could've said no. It was a hell of a workload and twas not compulsory, so why join?? Simple, I melted.

*Sigh*

It's really maddening when that happens. It doesn't matter if the person who's cajoling me looks like a penyangak baru break out of jail, if he plays his cards right, he'll get me to help him out.

But of course, I do insert a certain amount of common sense into the situation. No doing dangerous or illegal things and definitely no crossing my moral lines and whatnot.. Unfortunately, not enough common sense had accompanied me to say no to a (then!) simple Mooting competition.. Cis!


The Bestie says that I'm waaay too damn nice. Apparently, I have a heart as solid as an ice-cream. huh. Ironic, since it has dawned in the minds of most people in UiTM that I'm an ice queen. Owh well, maybe it's my super-frosty jelingan?? HAHA.

Hmm.. Maybe the Bestie is right, I do have the tendency to suffer pangs of sympathy for old people and scruffy kids. I just can't help it! they all look so fragile and helpless. In return I tend to have burning hatred for people who abandon the elderly in hospitals and use their kids for money-begging. The Scums! Tu lah sampah masyarakat yg palig tak biodegradable!
Heh. Emo pulak..

The point is, I have to stop this inability to say no to people. Especially the really 'bibir bersalut madu' ones. Bahaya woo!

No more ice-cream-like melting! My delicate mind can't take it! (Ha!)
Must.Be.Firm.
Say NO.
Sheesh.



Talking about ice-cream makes me hungry. (Stomach roars)
Now where did I put that pint of Jomoca almond fudge....

RM 11 Please, Next!

We humans are innately attracted to drama. And yes, even the most (self-proclaimed) stoic ones apply. Now, now.. There's no point in denying it. We see it too damn often to do so. Might as well embrace it right?? Drama equals excitement. Life without it is dubbed.. boring. And who would want a boring life right?

But excitement never comes without a lil bit prodding. so we prod, in full knowledge that trouble will follow.

We're drawn to drama like a moth to a flame -yours truly included. And unfortunately most of us end up like the poor moth; burnt to a crisp.

For the umpteenth time this week, I watch another one of my dear friends dig a treacherous grave for herself. Her idea of drama? Sleeping with her 'friend' just because her boyfriend cant do the job. (Coz he's away studying -Not due to any erectile dysfunctions.) Heh. Whatever happened to 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'? I know she loves her boyfriend, albeit in her own dysfunctional way. But I don't think she'll be very happy when he finds out -and he'll find out alright. She's about as discreet as a rampaging bull. Before the great endeavour, she even complained that her relationship with the boyfriend was too stable.. Translation; too boring. Hence, the need to spice up her life. Good luck girl. I hope the drama was worth the pending heart-break.


Another friend has multiple guys tripping over themselves to be with her. I can understand why. She's the ideal catch in so many ways. They call her everyday, without fail. And she always answers, without fail. But after hanging up, you'll always hear her say that they're all such bores. So in her bid to get rid of them, she sets out various plans on how she'll 'leave' these unsuspecting men. Ironically, when these guys finally get the message and leaves her alone, she'll get agitated. Then she'll gingerly seek them out again. Routine repeats. There you go; the carnal need for drama in one's life. *Sigh*


But ain't it easy to point the finger at other people's stupidity and laugh.


What if it's you they're laughing at?


That is why when it comes down to it, I can never really blame my lovely friends for what they've done, as I have done similarly stupid things too.

So what if I've been lied to and cheated on? Get over it. But I don't. I hold on to it and make it apart of me. Never letting go and always expecting the next one to be scum as well. And if he's not, I'll have this nagging feeling that it's just too good to be true and that it'll fall apart eventually. I don't let myself be completely happy and I say it's to protect myself from getting hurt, but I know better. I'm always trying to find excuses for myself. So that if it doesn't work out, I can just blame it on others. See?? Drama. I shouldn't be keeping all these bitterness in me, but it's there. Just annoyingly there. I feel like giving myself one swift kick.

Okay, so I do realize that what I do are sometimes down-right idiotic, and most people never realize that. So that must mean I'm somewhat better right? Wrong. The point is moot; it was still idiotic. Period.


*Sigh* Believe me, I am trying to get rid of all the unnecessary drama.

But wait! A lil drama is still good for entertainment. Remember, a boring life is not worth living.
HAHA.

You know that I know you want it.

Did my disappearing act (yet again). An all nighter (Ok, fine! Till the next evening, but whotheheck's keeping tabs??), to the obvious distress of my poor neglected roomie. Sigh. Thank god Nazeera was there to replace me. I owe you one!



Okay, so I went despite the fact that I have a test on Monday. A dry boring old Constitution test. Bluggh! It's totally understandable if I wanna have a little fun right? Yeah, so outing totally justified. (=.=)"

I'll study when I get back (Yeaaah riiight!). Whathafucklah, by now you all know I'm one lazyass. I'll cross the bloody bridge when I get to it.



Regardless, I was NOT sorry I disappeared. It was definitely a night to remember. I felt somewhat 'high' that night. But it was a good 'high'. Hence, once 'high', I tend to do quite 'crazy' things. But good 'crazy' things. HAHA. It's my brand of logic, please do not argue with me on this point.



Who knew Mr. Penyabar was such a decent dancer? I for one was pleasantly surprised, it has been EONS since the last time I've danced like that. I even fucking slow danced with him! I NEVER slow dance. Period. Not even at prom. Have always thought that it was way too personal. Too close somehow, something like sex. I know, stupid right? How the heck I got that impression in my head, even I can't figure out. It's just THERE. And even though I know it's so idiotic, it's still so very important to me. Heh. Complicated much??

Honestly, I have no idea what came over me. And no. Funnily enough, I did not instantly regret it. I hope I never will, not like how I regretted so many other personal things I did. Please god, not him. Anybody else, but not him. I've been jaded enough. Sigh. I'm over analysing it aren't I?

On a brighter note, I didn't trod on his foot. Not even during the slow dance. Woot! HAHA.



Spent the next day recuperating from the events of last night. Twas eventful but not reportable in a very VERY public bloggie. LOL. Where did my resolve to study go?? Entah la..



Instead went to see bestie who I've not seen for a fucking month! It's so comforting to know that even after not seeing her for a whole month and practically missing her birthday, we can still barricade ourselves in her room and pillow talk like old times. I do miss you babe. More then you think..

But the downside of seeing her is that I can never hide a damn thing from her. Despite my (award winning?) act. It's like she has goddamn emotional X-ray vision. (T.T)"
The first thing she deduced after our 'talk'; "You're happy but you're scared of it."
She knows me too well.
And I hate it when she's right.

Star Struckieeeee

MTV World Stage was orgasm inducing!
Repeat; ORGASM INDUCING!!!

Truely. Cant even describe how magical it was.

They gave us the good stuff, not the blah-ok-lah sets.

LOVED it.






Yeah, yeah.. I know gila dah basi punye news, but still! BEST night in a long, LONG time.
Sigh~ Bliss!



I was as sick as a dog on the day. Mummy even said that if she hears me cough one more time, she'll forbid me to go. (T.T)" So kejam.. Nooo.. Termalap sebentar my hopes and dreams to (finally!) see Kasabian live.



So basically stayed away from Mummy and did my best (gila ditermined!) to seem as healthy as I can. Even went as far as to use a lil blush (at home!) to look less like a 'hantu cina'. Yes, I'm THAT pale. *Sigh*



So when ride arrived, I ran for it. So thankful that Mummy didn't get a hold of me before I leave. To hell, I ain't missing World Stage! Not even H1N1 can stop me. Heh.




I totally missed Estranged and boyslikegirls (blugh!), but who bloddy cares?! By the time i got in, Raygun was starting to perform. Typically, they sang 'Just because' and like 2?? other songs to go with it. Hmm.. Not very sure. Was not paying attention. (Hoobastank and Kasabian ware the only things in my mind) Anyway, the only reason I could sing along to 'Just because' was coz the song had insane airtime. Heh.


Pixie Lott was.. cordial. I didn't like her new song 'boys and girls'. It was basically the average performance of forgettable songs. Would've been nice if she actually did her version of 'Use somebody', that would've been somewhat enjoyable for me (and yes, Kings of Leon rules!).




AAR was.. Energetic. HAHA. I have to alteast give em' that. People around me went totally wild, shouting "gives you hell!" Even the guys were jumping and singing along to Tyson's vocals. Weird... and somewhat gay. HAHA. Okay, so mengaku lah that I sang along to their songs too. Can't help it. The gayness was fucking contagious! (*.*)


But still, HAVE to preserve bulk of my energy to rock out to my idols.
I HATE being sick.



By now, I stank of sweat and ciggies. Hiah.. Only the boyfriend would hold me at that point. Plus, I looked way pale and was on the brink of passing out due to my violent spasms of caughing. Thank god I brought along somebody who could actually take care of me. But I didn't get any better. Fuck. Kasabian is the last act. Double fuck! Demi Kasabian.. See how stubborn I am when I put my mind into it?? Heh.


Hoobastank was fucking awesome!!! And Doug was (Sigh2.. Melt..) so SO hot! (I told ya, Orgasm inducing.) And as predicted, my boys did not disappoint me. Their set was ace! I almost lost it when they played 'Crawling in the dark'!! All time fav yo! I sang (screamed?) along. Sore throat and all. simply couldn't help it. They even did a snipit of the 'Ghostbusters' theme song. HAHA. Totally went along with that. So fucking cute! And yes Doug, we are ridiculous! But the best part is definately when they played 'The reason'. Everybody seemed to bond with each other through the music and suddenly we were all hugging and swaying together with the music. Magical. I was totally happy to just lean back, eyes closed and just enjoy the music. I couldn't even hear Doug's vocals, the croud was practically singing the whole song for him. The boyfriend was singing along to the song too. In my ear. Like it was meant for me (perasan!). Even if he's vocals isn't that great, it was breathtakingly beautiful to me. So goddamn happy at that point wey!

Finally. Kasabian's on!

Their set were fucking solid! Fuckingembirariang! Could die weh!
All the fav's were played;

1.Vlad the Impaler

2.Underdog

3.Empire

4.Where Did All The Love Go

5.Shoot The Runner

6.Fire

7.Club Foot

8. LSF


At that point, I totally forgot that I was sick and danced my ass off. (As much as I larat lah. HAHA.) Sang along with tekak yang rasa macam nak koyak and even jumped along! Wohoo!

After 'Club Foot' the band actually went off stage for a while. So people thought that that was it, and started to head home. (Okay, mengaku lah that I was kinda bummed that it seemed like they weren't going to playing LSF for us.) Me, being the ridiculously stubborn girl that I am, stayed and kept screaming for them to get back on stage. (Now there's this huge gaping area infront of me) When they got back on stage, macam kanak2 riang; I pushed my way as close as I could get. Mampos la sape yang kena tolak ngan I, don't give a damn anymore. KASABIAN!!! HAHA. Ended up so fucking depan weh! Bliss~ LSF was mind blowing! Was a real moment to remember. Yes folks, one day, when I'm old and no longer cool (HAHA) I'll tell my grandkids how wonderful that night was. Ngeh~

KASABIAN is god!


Dang, cannot upload the amazing (albeit scandalous) pics on this (UiTM PTAR2. Woot! HAHA) PC. Next post yea!

Fuck Tuesdays!

Was involved in a car crash on tuesday.

At 6.15 fucking pm.

Just when I was on my way to return Mummy's car. And after getting all the way to UiTM's gate 2, (Not even a 2min drive to her office!) some motherfucker had to go and ruin a perfectly good day for me.



So near, yet so far...



Celakasial punye orang!



At the traffic light, right outside UiTM gate 2 (Sek 7), a psycoretard decided (last minute) go straight (into UiTM) instead of right. So since his car was already 75% turned to the right, and he so badly wants to go straight, he decided; what the heck?? And did a fucking Tokyo drift stunt and did a mini u-turn (in the middle of the goddamn yellow box) to go into UiTM.
What. The. Fuck???

His genius stunt caused the car right behind him to crash into him. So, obviouly, when you're crashing into someone, you slam on the breaks. An emergency stop.



Yep, this is where I come in. I was behind this poor, shocked second car. So when I saw the car suddenly stop infront of me (unaware of the tokyo-drifter), I was like; The fuck is this person doing??! To avoid hitting the car smack in the centre, I swerved to the left. But I hit the car anyway. Well, atleast the damage was minimized. But still, FUCK! There goes my 'never-been-in-an-accident' track record.


So, being the responsible person that I am, I stopped at the roadside to access the damage. And ofcourse, talk to the person I've hit. Her car wasn't that badly damaged, it only had a few scratches. But mine was another story, right headlight was gone, bumper and hood was out too. *Sigh* I've got some major explaining to do! (T.T)"


Hmm.. What happened to the hanjingsial tokyo-drifter?? Well, he went into UiTM and stoped near the Pak Jaga's pondok for a few seconds. When it finally went through his thick idiotic skull that HE was the fucker responsible for the whole escapade, he bolted.

Eventhough I knew he bolted, I wasn't that devastated (time ni naive lagi) coz he did stop at the PONDOK PAK JAGA. So, the guards must have gotten the car's plate number right?? WRONG!!!

"Dia ada berhenti kejap, tami tak sempat tengok nombor plat dia." says the pak jaga.


Tiba-tiba terdetik di hati, apasal lah kita ada Pak jaga?? What's their function? For the security of the faculties and offices? Well, my mom's office (which is right next to the Pondok Pak Jaga) was robbed. Maybe it's for the safety of the road users? But I was involved in an accident right infront of the Pak jaga. He didn't even have enough sense to take down the plate number of the car causing the goddamn accident. And the car even STOPED for awhile before speeding off! WTF?? Tak guna!

Please note that just last week, the Pak Jaga stoped the car that Mr Penyabar was driving and gave me a fucking saman because I was wearing short sleeves. It was 8pm! It was dark! And I was in the passenger's seat, AWAY from the Pak Jaga. And he had enough sense (and night vision!) THEN to give me a saman. But when we really could use their help, what do they say?? "Tak sempat tengok"!! kesialan yang terlampau! Kerja kau bagi orang saman and menyusahkan hidup orang aje ke?? Dear UiTM; your money should be better used serving the students, or even giving the much deserving lectures a raise! Yes, I officially HATE the Pak Jagas. Yeay! to my cool friend who (accidently) knocked down a Pak Jaga!


Ok, back to the accident.

Since both me and the lady (who I've hit) thought that we weren't at fault, we decided to go to the police station to lodge a police report so that we can claim our insurence. But after giving our statements, the traffic detective (who was late for dinner) immediately said that the whole accident was my fault and stamped my issue paper with a big red "PENYEBAB KEMALANGAN". WTH?? Suddenly it was my fault lah the sonofabitch infront did a u-turn stunt?? Ok, fine, I'm liable for hitting the lady's car but I ain't the cause of the 3 car pile-up! And I hit the lady under special circumstances. It's not like I was speeding or lost control of the car. This is just an easy way out for you isn't it Mr Police?? Since the real culprit has bolted, I'm ur sacrificial lamb?? Fuck you!

So now I'm slaped with a saman and a heavy offence. And I am NOT happy about it. I'll be totally fine with it if I'd deserved it. But THIS??! Goddamn it, even I know this is fucked up. Is it any wonder why I don't respect the police??

Later decided to fight for my right (SUCH a law student's motto!) and see the head inspector. And he said that he'll see what he can do and get back to me. So am now waiting patiently to see what's the verdict.


As for the car, well, I'm one lucky girl. daddy totally understood the situation and didn't blame me for the accident. Niether did Mummy. But I got an earful on being careful on the road. Heh. Endured that as I totally deserved it.


Well, what I know for sure is that my lisence won't be suspended. So that's good news. I just hope the good news keeps comming.



I've just realised that shit usually happens to me on Tuesdays. First, the robbery, now the accident. Forget mondays being crappy, Tuesdays are worse!

I HATE TUESDAYS!

Cookie Monster!

Opted to take part in the family's TAHLIL instead of going to 'Dig It All' this weekend. Alhamdulillah.. HAHA.

Yep, believe it people! Got involved in the whole thingamajig! The cooking (Ok, Fine! More like stirring the food. But still!), the sending of the food to the local surau, going to the surau (with tudung!) and even stayed through the whole thing! No lari-lari for breaks (Have to admit that I'll normally doze off during these things.. Not my fault! It's the mini setans playing tag on my eyelids..)! But not yesterday! NO sir! I was wide awake!

I tried my best to slug through it but it was not fun as I was yelled and glared at all day. Haih.. Orang nak berubah ni! bagi lah support sikit! Dah la I sanggup sacrifice my day of doing evil at Cap Square. (T.T)

Yes, I'm very proud of my achievement. So very very bangga with the 'improved and slightly less devilish' me. But next time, I'll hire a caterer. Thankyouverymuch!

Thank you dear friends who have been congratulating me on my obvious efforts to move outta the dark side. Terharu sebentar! But I was surprised that some were so adamant that my act was just a emotional glitch. A GLITCH. "Kejap lagi back to her normal evil- doing self la tu.." *Tsk-tsk* Sampai hati cakap macam tu! Walaupun dalam hati I agree with you.. HAHA. Slow and steady yea..


Even Fareez is not trusting me anymore due to my tendencies to go to the good side. Says I'll contaminate his mind - with GOODNESS. Wtf?? Dude! Trust me, nobody can further contaminate your mind. ESPECIALLY with goodness. Simply ain't possible.


Whatever it is, I ain't no saint. So bring on the sins! (Astaghfirullah..) XD


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Went shopping for a new handphone - to replace the one I've lost. (Sedih sebentar.. Yes, I have not moved on. Twas my second baby love! *Sob*)

I have admit, I got somewhat delusional at one point; thinking that I'll get the Newest most fantastic bombastic phone out there. I even asked to look at the Blackberrys, i-Phones and touch screens galore.. Forgetting that (technically) it was my fault that my lovely phone is no longer with me. (T.T)"


THAT was when daddy turned to me and said that Mummy forbid him to buy me anything fantastic bombastic as I'll most likely lose it again. Nak nangis pun ada time tu.. Damn you! (I'm referring to the thief, NOT Mummy.) I know that I should be thanking my lucky stars that my dear parents agreed to buy me another phone.. And I am! But I guess daddy saw the excitement die in my eyes And felt sorry for me. (Yeay!) Hence the new proposition; I can buy anything I want under RM*tut-tut*.. No way am I gonna be crude enough to mention prices. But lets just say it was more than was allowed. Hihi..


Money in hand, I went off hunting for my new baby! saw an i-Phone for RM 600 yo! But then later found out that it was 'made in China' i-Phone, No warranty. Dang! Turned out there were Lots and LOTS of phones made illegally from china here.. God, was so tempted to bag the sweet Blackberry Bold.. But in my mind I was like; better take the original ones.. You drop your phones too damn often! Rosak nanti wo!

So dragged my sorry ass to the brighter part of the mall and looked for legit shops. Did some flirting with the guy who sells the phones and got a sweet deal on a LG Cookie. First hand, limited edition and most importantly, Original. Even managed to get it upgraded to 8 GB. All within my budget! Bliss!


The sound quality is good enough for me and the interface is way better then the fuckretard Nokia touch screen. And it's so sleek! *Happy~*


I'm calling my new baby Cookie Monster! Cute. HAHA.

Heart Shaped Clouds

Did my disappearing act despite the fact that I had a shitload of pending work. What?? I simply couldn't help it.. Ngeh~


It was nice to kick back and chillax with somebody who won't bring me problems. I have enough of that, thankyouverymuch!


Watched a late-nite movie (what's with me and movies these days?? Haih..) and pretty much lepak-ed the night away. The Proposal (Chosen by him! Aww.. So cute. HAHA) was surprisingly nice. It was refreshingly funny, with a few dirty jokes here and there. My fav part; Sandra dancing around a bonfire singing "sweat running down my balls!" Gila random. And of course, the dreaded 'baby maker' blanket. Cool weh! I wish I had a baby making blanket.. (Hey, don't get the wrong idea! It's for the -very?- distant future) And hands down, Grandma Gammy's the best! The ever doting but slightly loopy oldie. Classic! But alas, as all love stories go, it gets a lil bit cliche' in the end. And the ending was very VERY predictable. Like, OF COURSE lah he'll go after her and end up happily fucking ever after. Sheesh. But still, was worth my time. Gelak sampai perot pecah yo!



After the movie, we found a nice spot to sit and just.. well, talk. It was (again) surprisingly good to talk to him like that. Sure, we had good conversations before, but never like that. No barriers, no judgements, just pure honesty. An 'Unholy confession' session if you may. And I'd be a liar, liar, pants on fire if I'd say that I wasn't somewhat scared that he'll see me differently now that I've revealed ALL the fuckingmoronic things that I've done.

I'm not proud of them. But damnit, he has the right to know who I really am. The least I can do is give him a heads up. Honestly, when was the last time I've opened up like that? I can't even remember.. I daresay, he broke down my Great Wall of Reina and everything that it so carefully contained gushed out. Endlessly. Fucking non-stop. So yeah, when I finally shut up, I was scared shitless of what he'd think of me.

To be fair, he told me some shocking things in return. Things that I'd never have guessed he'd do. But he had enough trust in me to reveal those ugly facts, and that sure as hell counts for something. Always had and always will.

In retrospect, it wasn't that bad. I sure as hell don't think any less of him. To tell you the truth, I was actually relieved that he wasn't as perfect as he was in my head. (Yes, I know I'm screwed up) But I loved the fact that he's down to earth enough to say that he's not perfect. And that he's not always right. Not many guys can do that. God, he has flaws. Huge ones at that. But I love him anyway, flaws and all. It's the package right?? Heh. (Yeah2, I sound like a love struck idiot. I know. But let me have this while it lasts..)


We took quite awhile sitting there silently after those unholy confessions. Most likely -like me- he too was digesting the all the things we've bombarded on each other. But it gave me comfort that he never moved away from me. Well, at least one of his promises is solid; he's not letting go. *huge sigh of relief* In the end, we accepted each other for what we were. Sure, there's lots of room for improvements. But generally, I'll take him just the way he is. And I think that's how it should be. Always.


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Yes. I am happy. Very.
Is that so hard for you to believe?

They're very subtle things, but they make me happy.
I'm very easy to please. (^.^)

HAHA

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Sem is back on. And I feel like a total idiot. (T.T)

Apparently I've forgotten a shitload of things I've learnt the previous sems. Hence, I've been sitting in class in full blurr mode. I can't seem to recall my sections anymore and I've just recently realised that there's a fuckpile of landmark cases that I have not even heard of, let alone read! After class I would go; " What the fuck did I learn just now??" *Sigh* This is what happens if you study purely for the sake of scoring in exams. NOTHING ever sticks in your head. Sheesh. Short term memory loss much?


I wanna upgrade my brain's memory capacity.
Too bad I can't just do that by sticking a memory card in my head. *Sob2..*



On a brighter note, I went through KESAT without fainting! Major Hurrah moment! *Bangga weh!* Dah jadi kuat kot?? Haha. Fragile no longer bebeh! If I actually improve in the next few weeks, maybe I can even get rid of the goddamn label Ramen and Shahid stamped on my foreheard; "Fragile. Handle with care" *Pfft!*

Some of my dear (first timer) friends even went in their pretty white tudungs. HAHA. Memang tak ngam dengan perangai, but still, it was so damn cute. Should've taken a picture..


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No more movie marathons!!! No! Cannot! Gah!

So bad for my studies weyh! Staying up with Anna and Ramen watching mind numbing movies back to back is NOT good for my sedia ada malas-ness. Huhu.. Ended up staying up the whole night. Assignments untouched. Fuck.

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No classes tomorrow. Yeay! Now am seriously contemplating performing my ever so popular disappearing act. The whole night out might do me good. Damnit! Study taknak!


*Sigh* I guess I should get started on my assignmets. MUST. Then I can go see him conscious free! Hihi...

Let's Go Potty!

Hello kids, How are you today?
On this fine day I am going to rant about 3 very dull things;
(Do not worry, as always, I'll make it as exciting as possible)

1. Potty-headed people.
2. The potty. (Yes, the toilet.)
3. Harry Potty.


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1. By now, I'm sure you've heard about the Anti (and Pro??)-ISA riots. Oh, no. The politically correct word for it is 'protest'. Ok2.. My bad. Please don't arrest me. HAHA.
   
   So anyway, there's this massive (by Malaysia's scale lah) 'protest' in the city centre. It has been reported that over 20 000 bad asses were there for the 'peaceful protest'. *Pfft* Peaceful protest mybeautifullyrounededass! There were multiple tear gas action, water cannons galore and bloody arrests! (among other things that I'm sure are not reported to the public.)
   
   Yeah, yeah. Everybody knows the drill, always state that it's a 'peaceful protest' but it'll NEVER stay that way. Please read the history books people. We're talking about people here. There's no way of predicting them. There will always be one potty head in the masses who will trigger violence. Like today, one person shoves the police, then everybody starts shoving too. they're like sheep, where one goes, the others follow.
   
   Personally, I'm not really a fan of street marching/protest/riots/whateverthefuck you wanna call it. To me, there's always a more sophisticated way at handling things. But then, not everybody can be as classy as me. Heheh.
   
   Plus, it's already reported some time ago that the Act is being reviewed. I guess it's not being reviewed fast enough.. Hence, the 'protest'. Haih, it's a complicated process. Even abolishing it doesn't happen overnight. There are gaps to fill and repercussions to consider. I understand, you want it your way. Sure, everyone does. But for once, think of the solution too. (I know, I'm starting to sound preachy. Dang!)
   
   But I wonder.. How many people in today's 'peaceful protest' actually understood what ISA is all about? Do they REALLY know what they're being tear-gassed/cannoned/arrested for?? For your sake, I hope so. If not, then you're truly potty headed.
   
   
   P/S: to the shoppers who were stranded due to the 'protest', I feel for you! I was so sad I couldn't do my shopping today because of this.. On a brighter note, there's always tomorrow!
   
   
   
2. Instead of going to various malls in KL (reason being as stated above), I went to Sunway Pyramid. There, I was faced with the same problem I had when I was in KLCC, Pavilion and other cooler than cool uber malls; The fucking toilet facilities!
   
   Yes, most may argue that these malls have the most up to date facilities and that there's nothing left to complain about.. Nay, I must disagree. Personally, I prefer the old-skool washrooms. Simple yet efficient. I don't give a rat's ass if the facilities look cool/ has sensors or not, as long as it's actually usable, I'm happy.
   
   The thing that pisses me off the most is the fact that they have discontinued using good old water hoses. Now they have these little goddamn sprinklers attached to the toilet bowls. But the worse part of all, the thing only trickles water. It doesn't even reach parts where you want them to reach. It totally defeats the purpose! Plus, It's from a fixed source. You can't maneuver the water in the right angle anymore. People have different ways of washing ok? Give us the fucking hoses back. Please.
   
   My god, I'm ranting about toilet hoses and people's preferences in washing themselves! Holy crap! shall stop now. But before I do; please note that who the hell designed the contraption should be fired. Those who've approved these things should be too!
   
   
   
3. Really, there's nothing much you can do in Sunway. So, decided to watch Harry potty on the big screen. Story line; boring. Poor Munyet didn't understand the bulk of the movie as he did not read the book. So the ticket was pretty much wasted on him. But the special effects was ace. I was totally wowed when they did the whole smoke-turn-into-scene thingy. (O.O)"
   
   Yes, there were funny lines here and there, but it wasn't enough to save the movie. My fav line; "Well, I AM the chosen one." *Smack!*. Good one! Too bad I wasn't the one doing the smacking. Would SO love to give that face a smack. I have no idea why girls swoon over him. NOT hot. dah lah tak hot; pendek, lemah and clueless somemore! Sheesh.
   
   Kids, read books. They're WAY better!